An honest review
Dude, I don't know where to begin. First of all, the fact that the art is different, actually mixes well with everything else.(Seriously, MindChamber) Now, I'm no big-shot Hollywood critic as Coop seems to think he is, (He is way too obnoxious) but with enough time and effort, this could become an amazing film. Seriously, this would beat The Godfather, Harry Potter, and Pearl Harbor.(What wouldn't?) All in all, an amazing job, Sir.
Keep up the five star, 10/10 work!
Not as bad as part 1
Hmm, there are parts of this that have improved over part 1, although there are still things that hold this piece back greatly. I note the contrast in that this piece only got daily 4th, as opposed to daily 2nd, which part 1 got. This might be down to portal activity, or the fact that there's a lot less combat in this.
As Mindchamber says, you're being held back by the art in this piece. You really need to concentrate on your drawing skills, as while you can animate pretty well, there is a major issue with the fact that you're animating images which aren't up to scratch for a piece of this magnitude. I thought that the sniper's earpiece looked a little out of place here, as there was no other detail on the stick figure, other than the eye patch. Hair would be the solution here, as you would know where the face orientates, which you even get in Madness, unlike here. The one angle, where you look at the guy with the bionic eye side on, it looks like he is making a weird face, as the earpiece looks like an eye - changing the drawing style, possibly with a cable running over the top and down into the collar, just like they would use in the SAS, for example. A little detail that makes a lot of difference.
The quality of the voice acting seem much improved. Although some of the lines are a little quiet, it is something that you can work with now, taking care to iron out the problems and make the piece so much better.
There was a long pause after the explosion, where the screen went black. It seemed like it was going to take forever to get on with the piece. Fading it in a few seconds earlier would have done the trick, as without that, there is a degree of disruption to the immersion that you as a director are trying to create.
That is not to say that I was not impressed with some of the newer features. You produced a decent rain effect and this was nice to see, giving rise to other parts of the animation that you're capable of. The explosion was similar, although with the blood splatters, you seem drawn to hard lines - blood would spurt forth initially, but then the corpse would continue to have a little flow from the wound, particularly a head wound of such magnitude.
I enjoyed the writing, as once again, you've left the piece on a knife edge and you're setting us up for something that's going to be interesting to watch as a production in its own right, as well as a continuation of the story. Keep up the good work on the writing front. Now that we have a writing forum, you may wish to give us some insight and allow us to help you, if possible.
You did have the same issue with subtitle bar, but as these were both released in 2008, I guess you haven't really had time to spot it yourself, so if you could correct it for your next submission, that would be great.
[Review Request Club]
Like I said in the last volume's review, good work. I forgot to comment on the proper menu screen as well, a nice touch indeed. The credits were also done professionally.
Touching up on things I said before, but concerning this volume, the voice acting again could use some work. I think it was okay in this episode, but still needs a bit of work to be more convincing.
The art also definitely needs to be improved. The scenery looks great, and so do the guns, but the actual characters themselves seriously need to be improved. Some different facial characteristics would really help. It can be hard to remember who is who at times because the characters all look so very similar. The different eyes just isn't enough. Maybe slightly different colors? Some eyebrows on some? Something should be done. I think it was the chief of police? Maybe the cop boss? He was a good character. Had a vest which made him stand out from the rest and his voice was great and totally in character. The guy he was talking to, not so much. What he said was clear, but the emotion seemed to be missing.
I think you could also work on some of your lines and make them a bit more clever. Like instead of just telling facts, give the guys some character. Have them be assholes to each other and tell jokes. Maybe give each other some shit about something like commenting on how bad his tie looks, anything. That kinda stuff really gives people character.
The scene right before the explosion wasn't all that convincing. Could have used better effects/timing, however directly after that, it was great. The hazy look, and the sprinklers were great. The car was drawn very well also. I think that the man with the fake eye seriously needs to have a different voice though. He sounds way too normal and it doesn't match his appearance very well.
I hope that you take some of this constructive criticism into consideration, as I try to be as descriptive and helpful as possible. Great episode though, keep up the good work, you've got a lot of potential to be a great flash author.
Oh, and I will add that the music was very appropriate, and so was the volume level ;)
That was great!
hope you make more soon
i liked it
you have a nice sense of timing and direction. the art makes it hard to take the content seriously, maybe you could group up with some animators to take it up a notch?