Not as bad as part 1
Hmm, there are parts of this that have improved over part 1, although there are still things that hold this piece back greatly. I note the contrast in that this piece only got daily 4th, as opposed to daily 2nd, which part 1 got. This might be down to portal activity, or the fact that there's a lot less combat in this.
As Mindchamber says, you're being held back by the art in this piece. You really need to concentrate on your drawing skills, as while you can animate pretty well, there is a major issue with the fact that you're animating images which aren't up to scratch for a piece of this magnitude. I thought that the sniper's earpiece looked a little out of place here, as there was no other detail on the stick figure, other than the eye patch. Hair would be the solution here, as you would know where the face orientates, which you even get in Madness, unlike here. The one angle, where you look at the guy with the bionic eye side on, it looks like he is making a weird face, as the earpiece looks like an eye - changing the drawing style, possibly with a cable running over the top and down into the collar, just like they would use in the SAS, for example. A little detail that makes a lot of difference.
The quality of the voice acting seem much improved. Although some of the lines are a little quiet, it is something that you can work with now, taking care to iron out the problems and make the piece so much better.
There was a long pause after the explosion, where the screen went black. It seemed like it was going to take forever to get on with the piece. Fading it in a few seconds earlier would have done the trick, as without that, there is a degree of disruption to the immersion that you as a director are trying to create.
That is not to say that I was not impressed with some of the newer features. You produced a decent rain effect and this was nice to see, giving rise to other parts of the animation that you're capable of. The explosion was similar, although with the blood splatters, you seem drawn to hard lines - blood would spurt forth initially, but then the corpse would continue to have a little flow from the wound, particularly a head wound of such magnitude.
I enjoyed the writing, as once again, you've left the piece on a knife edge and you're setting us up for something that's going to be interesting to watch as a production in its own right, as well as a continuation of the story. Keep up the good work on the writing front. Now that we have a writing forum, you may wish to give us some insight and allow us to help you, if possible.
You did have the same issue with subtitle bar, but as these were both released in 2008, I guess you haven't really had time to spot it yourself, so if you could correct it for your next submission, that would be great.
[Review Request Club]