Alright, let's see what we've got here - I've just sat through fifteen minutes of this and it is certainly a well written piece, that draws attention to various issues and I can see that your research may have been conducted across a wide range of films of this nature.
As for what needs to be done, you have a longer list than I'd expect from a piece that is this well written. Start by having the grammar checked. The opening line, for example should be "people that dress up for their own funeral." You don't take your clothes with you and get changed when you're at the church, after all.
On the preloader, you've got the start screen, but no button to get you to the menu. That needs to be fixed, as it's unnecessary to get viewers to right click and press play.
The piece takes a while to get going, as it's very quiet and setting the scene, while it may take a while, could be edited down for time. You're not bad at tracing, but the drawing aspect needs to be worked on, as it lets the writing down.
The voices are very hit and miss, as it seems that from your three voice actors, at least one of them doesn't have a professional microphone, so we end up with poor quality volume settings and the occasional static crackle over the recording, which is a rookie mistake, to be frank. I understand that these actors might be your friends, but there are plenty of Voice Actors out there, just have a search on the Audio Forum. I might even be able to supply some, if you were interested.
On the final phone call made to the guy in the office, you can see a glimmer of the scene beneath the subtitles bar - sorting that out is not a major issue that you need to sort, but it is something that just needs to be tidied up to give a more professional finish.
I know that it seems like a pretty damning verdict and a piece that has won a daily second place award shouldn't be scoring so lowly on a review, but a small catalogue of niggling difficulties can make a huge impact on the enjoyment of the piece overall. I will watch the second one and if this goes even further than just these two parts, when you've improved your animating skills, you might want to come back and remake the animations to cope with your new skill levels.
Best of luck.
[Review Request Club]