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Khay meets Lhina

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My very first submission to Newgrounds! ALRIGHT!
This animation I did in little more than a day... It could be said that in 2 days but all I did the second day was re-edit some scenes and add the soundtrack.
The reason I did this in so little time is that it was for a school proyect... well enough about the production, now to the story!
The story of the vid is based on a little miniseries I've had in my mind for some time. Temptive title would be "Khaul's Adventures". This miniseries is about Khaul, a "Metacorpus" (being created from dreams) that lives in the fantastic world of Somnis with his best friend, Blipie. And THIS animation tells the tale of how Khaul, being quite the lonely guy, meets Lhina, a female metacorpus.
Because of the VERY limited deadline, the story rushes a bit, but still, there's romance, comedy, and epic DBZish battles.
I hope it is to your liking! As simple as it may be.

P.S. I am VERY nervous... some little goblin in my mind keeps telling me it's gonna win "turd of the week" T^T... I hope not T^T.

Song Credits I'm afraid I'm not sure right now about a pair of the songs used... but I do remember something about them... here goes the credits I know with info of the ones I don't remember... in chronological order.
Song from Cirque du Soleil
Song from Apocalyptica
Song which doesn't belong to them but got it from Sky High OST
Keith Urban's "You're my Better Half"
Rammstein's "Feur frei" (SP?)
Escaflowne OST "Dance of Curse"
Tsubasa Chronicles OST "Break the Sword of Justice"
Song which doesn't belong to them but got it from Surf's Up OST

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9999 KO!

Great! I finally get to see this animation :)
it was very emotive, great story, 10/10
P.S: Good thing the black guy died
P.P.S: he realy deserved it
P.P.P.S: he was only a fu"#&/( bast#$%
P.P.P.P.S: #1 Fan man
P.P.P.P.P.S: goodbye i guess
P.P.P.P.P.P.S: I like pie
P.P.P.P.P.P.P.S: also Peanuts
P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.S: they should make pies WITH peanuts inside them
P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.S: ok now i really say goodbye

RyuuKiba responds:

thanks XDDDD and... I believe such pies DO exist! Lets buy one on Monday XDDDD

needs some work...

but it was ok!
well ^^ the moving animation when the red dude moves out of the screen to the left! u should think about a moving style! not just "floating" ^^ and the trees need some work ^^ also the breaking animation ^^ looks a bit cheap!

i liked the change from claymation to animation! but u should have used red clay ^^ not this pink thing ^^ sometimes it looked a bit like a penis xDD

keep it up! and i dont think it gets the turd of the week ^^

RyuuKiba responds:

Thanks for the review ^^. Many chep effects and such here are mainly because of my impressive lack of time to do this animation XDDD But be sure I'll fix it up on next submissions ^^.

The clay I used was actually red BUT I used the PSeye to film it (because of its stop-motion feature) and it "crappened" the colors a lot XDDD Funny conclusion the penis thing... rather not think about it too much XDDDD,

Thanks ^^


That was so awesome! Great work, this should be on the frontpage! I mean it!

RyuuKiba responds:

Woah! Thanks! ._. I still dream of front-page here XDDDD

Quite the discovery

Alright, so firstly, I'm going to say that there is no way this will be getting turd of the week :) Quite honestly, considering this was done in a matter of 2 days, I'm am EXTREMELY surprised with the length and quality that was in the flash. I really would like to see what you can do when you have more time on your hands.

There were a few things that stuck out to me in this flash (All of which were good.) First, I really liked the background you gave. It kind of fleshes out the story and makes the flash a whole lot more meaningful when you watch it. Personally, I would kind of like to see you make a prologue, or a flash that kind of shows either how the world came about, or something along those lines. That's completely up to you though. Anyways, lemme just say few things about that flash really quickly.

First, I don't really quite understand the motion capture at the beginning. You might have been trying to get some kind of effect (like maybe motion capture being the real world and the drawn flash being inside the dream world?) but it didn't really come across clear to me. Not that it was bad, but I didn't quite know what to think.

Secondly, I really like your animation style. It's simple but it does a great job. And I liked the the way Khay and Lhina looked. I think you should keep that, even if you change your animation style. I didn't quite understand what or who the little black guy was. I think it's a Fuzz but I'm not quite sure. But he was cute :P

Back to your animation style: I really like the way this is told without words. Some flashes are meant to have voices. This one, I think is best told the way you did, with music to set the mood and icons like (!) and (?) to indicate how a character is reacting.

On another note, I do have something to say about the music. There was a nice selection, but at times I felt the changes a little too fast paced. I think that the same effect could be achieved possibly with less songs. While all the transitions make sense, sometimes too many can overwhelm a viewer (at least in my opinion anyways.)

Just remember, all this is my opinion :) Constructive criticism :D

The fight scene was decent. Not spectacular, but then again,for a 2 day flash it was definately good enough. Once again I would like to see what you could explore here given more time :)

Overall, the flash was very cute, very well thought out and I think very good as a whole. I would really like to see you further pursue this story. Even if you don't continue with these characters, the universe you've thought up is pretty original and I'd like to see more submissions from you.

Wonderful first submission, keep making these. My rating for this is a 9/10 and a 5/5 (I round up ^^)


RyuuKiba responds:

Wow! Thanks! Now that you and Dawnslayer mention it the soundtrack does feel a bit "cramped" LOL. I really appreciate nice, long reviews like yours ^^.
The motion cap. scene (that was a requirement for my school proyect ^^u) IS actually the human world, you got it right XDDD. Khaul chases Dina around a bit but she accidentally activates a teletransportation-like power that takes her and Khaul back to Somnis.
You also got right what the little black guy is XDDD he IS a Fuzz, and his name's Blipie, AND he's Khaul's best friend ^^.
Maybe you didn't check out the character profiles... I did rush a bit with the buttons and it may not react to passing the mouse over it but "Character profiles" takes you to different pages about Khaul, Lhina, Blipie and the others that appear here ^^.
Once again thanks. I promise I'll be submitting more animations here XDD mainly "Khaul's Adventures" I suppose ^^

i like it

its very good for a first movie n to tell the truth it dont look like no first movie