Hmm
The animation isn't the best, but that will get better with practice and as time goes by. I would also suggest using pre-recorded sound effects instead of recording them yourself. Although where this animation could really use help with is the storytelling - the story it tells seems to by neither here nor there and all over the place. Try looking at other flash animations and short movies to see how they tell their story and try to incorporate ideas from other videos into your own style.
Might I also suggest you spend a little more time on these - A little extra time to help improve the quality could do a world of good. (I'm not a flash animator, but that idea is universal and can be applied to just about anything you do)