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Father & Son In: Trip

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Well, this is my first submission to newgrounds, and with my still undevelped skills on flash, it isn't great, but I thought it was OK, so I'm putting it up. Please be kind! :(

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Quite good!

Considering this was your first animation,this was great!the artwork was simple,but it was good.i liked how you drew the car,as it was very simple and still looked good.the plot was amusing,and the voice acting wasn't bad either.great job on your first animation!

Dexter3000

CSanimations responds:

Lol thanks. Always good to get reviews

Some elements made me smile.

I actually really liked your graphics - with the simple shapes of the car etc.

The sign for 'camp boring' really didn't fit though - neither the thin lines, nor the style of shape. Elsewhere, you have these sorta flat abstract shapes that look like a cheap cartoon from the 60s and so the 'proper' 3D shape looks kinda odd.

I think you need to work on keeping a consistent line width, maybe embrace the abstract shapes you've made and work on refining your style.

And don't use square-edged letters - the sans-serif rounded fonts you use work way better.

The story itself made me smile. Specially the son's sarcastic voice.

The whole thing could have been better presented though. The way the presence of the rafting, archery and bonfire lighting were introduced was a bit odd - up until then, it was as if they were all alone.

Also, in the end, with a comment like that, I feel that such a horrible dad would probably slap the son, or at least grumble 'shut up'.

Maybe focus more on realising the characters rather than making funny jokes at the expense of continuity?

I look forward to your future stuff.

CSanimations responds:

Yeah, I should of planned it better. Thanks.

shows potential

Visuals: the drawing leave something to be desired, but that will improve with practice, the animation was great, very fluid, some of the facial colours were off but that isn't a problem, a great look for a first flash

Audio: other than the static in the mic they were all right, some of them were hard to understand, just back off from the mic a bit next time

Overall: the plot was very good, I could really get into it, some things could've been elaborated on like the bonfire and archery, but what you have is good, keep practicing you have potential to do great works

.:Review Request Club:.

CSanimations responds:

Thanks for the very nice review, I'm glad you liked it.
Yeah, the bonfire didn't look great, but it was a bit of an experiment. I guess I'll have to find another technique. Now I know how to use filters I know what I should of done. :)

Hello

Let's see, then.

Don't worry, i'll take into account the fact that this is your first flash.

You seem to be beginning to be knowing some animations techniques. However, The free hand drawings really ruins it. Again, i do know this is your first time and i won't come back to it. Things come with practice.

Now for the sound issue. The other reviewers already said it, but be careful with the mic, especially when you're doing screams or whatever is loud, you really need to put your mouth away from the mic. Even if the screams sounds a bit low on volume, it's still better than being too loud.

I guess i said everything. The only thing i would suggest is to keep on practicing. I'm pretty confident you'll get there.

(§ Jorma Poyer AKA Deflektor §)
Review Request Club

CSanimations responds:

Thanks for a pretty constructive review, and I do feel the sound was a real issue, it was done with a £2.97 mic. :) But now I've got a better one.

(title in work)

^^Good Points^^
For your first submission it's not bad work. You've got a few good animation techniques in this movie, like the trees in the foreground and background during the walking scene. Some comical parts in this movie, and I think the censorship actually worked to the advantage here.

^^Needs Improving^^
Ok, first thing that I didn't like was the voice acting. Speak a bit more clearly, had a hard time hearing sometimes. Also, seemed a little disjointed. Like what happened with that deer or whatever that popped out of the bush? I was expecting something more than just the dad freaking out in that scene.

Review Request Club

Credits & Info

Views
5,204
Faves:
1
Votes
17
Score
3.50 / 5.00

Uploaded
Aug 29, 2008
5:30 PM EDT