You may be getting better...

But I still personally am not enjoying the series yet. I hope as you get better at animating that you think about coming back and redoing most if not all of these submissions.

Animation/Graphics - The same as usual on your flashes. What I would recommend is some more actual animation. Most of it is just too simple. It's more like a picture with the mouth moving. I want to see actual animation like people walking around and def. more exciting things like fights and battles.

Story - Like I said before this just lacks in animation to make the story any good. It's a great story, but you can't tell just by watching it. The introduction is still too long though and the flashes them selfs needs to be longer. Not the introduction. You are going to lose a lot of people in the intro itself.

Audio - THIS IS THE NEWGROUNDS POLICE BACK AWAY FROM THE MIC. Lol sorry I had to say that, but it almost sounds like you are spitting in the mic. Back away from it and just talk loud and clear. It should pick it up find. I hate every time it sounds like your blowing into the mic on purpose. Back up and this should be fixed.

Overall, not something that I enjoy personally, but if you think you are getting better then keep working.

C52

~ Review Request Club ~

Pretty good

The intro was funny at first but it was just too long I like the animation style, and the audio was great, good job.
.:.Review Request Club.:.

\m/

You are still improving, but you still have quite a long way to go.

First of all, you should try to find some voice actors (I'm sure some people in the audio forums will gladly help you out).
The sound of your voice is all right, but either you need a better mic or you should put the mic farther away from your mouth. Sometimes the breathing is just too heavy on letters like 'p'. Also your accentuation is quite strange, which makes it a bit hard to follow what you are saying.

It's a good thing that you turned the volume of the music down as it was very annoying in the last chapters that the music was so loud all the time. I still think it would be better if you stop the music once the introduction is over.

Speaking of the introduction: It's too long. You advertise the previous chapters of the series. Now that is fine, but I don't want to sit through all of this if I already watched (and reviewed) them.
It would be better if you'd create a simple menu, where you put in different options like "introduction", "previous chapters", etc. .
That way we could start watching the movie right away.

{ Review Request Club }

Slow improvement

I think that you need to reflect on what has happened in this series so far. It's enough quality to be put together into something which would better represent an episode. This is just a little background plot, with two people talking and the whole introduction being far longer than any of the episodes we have seen.

As for the blowing of your own trumpet in the introduction, you need to lay off that - let your own work speak for itself, as the series is hardly legendary. You're improving, but you're not a legend yet - that has to be earned from people saying it about you, not you saying it about yourself in the hope that others believe you.

I'd suggest that you do two major things, other than increasing the length of the flash - the first is to move the mic further from your mouth when voice acting - this will reduce quality loss in the sound. The other one is much more subtle. Make the eyes of the guy on the right level, as it looks horrible.

If you're worried about your grammar, I'd be happy to look over the script for you, so just send me a PM on that. Blaming your Irish ancestry is no excuse for poor grammar. Someone to look over it can help, as it gives you a fresh perspective on it.

And the comment about the 56kers still out there as an excuse for why you are trying to keep the filesize so small... I don't buy it. Put Episodes 1-5 into one and then 6-9 in the second. Maybe as much as 3 episodes could be made once you've thinned out all of the introductions, which bulks up the filesize to start with.

[Review Request Club]

still getting better

a long intro almost to the point of being boring, little animation, but the sounds were synced properly to the visuals, and it was quite interesting can't wait to see more, keep at it

.:.Review Request Club.:.