That crazy Grebins!
This is great work Dale, I nearly pissed myself when Grebins threw the kinder surprise container at the lady! :D
Author Comments
Hello NG,
This is another one of my Manful Cartoons featuring smoking silohette characters. It follows a recently sacked Toilets Direct employee and former muslim as he tries to apologise for his debauched behaviour and botched toilet fixing job at the local mosque. He has a pet kitten called Grebins who has taken to living in his beard, but also seems to have a corrupting influence on Broody...
This is my fourth submission to Newgrounds, and was made with a lot of helpful reviews and advice from my previous submissions taken to heart. I hope that I have made an imrovement with this flash and therefore made it more fun to watch.
Let me know what you think!
Burdoc responds:
Thanks for watching my stuff! Yeah, that Grebins can be quite unreasonable at people with bad hairstyles, she gives Broody a bad image that one. I'm glad you like my animation attempts, even though I got a bit carried away with all the singing in this one D:
Thanks for the kind words man, you've given me a real boost! :)
It was good
The only wierd part was all of the people are smoking.......
Burdoc responds:
Thanks, the smoking is sort of a lazy way to get past doing lip-synching.. but after this I'll probably have a go at implementing proper mouths in my next flash.
hmmm
the animation is weird an unique. but good.
my suggestion would be to take away that HORRIBLE cat sound (come on, thats extremelly anoying).
oh. also I dont really like the way the character´s walk. but hey what do I know. maybe you DO want it like that.
mmm. what else... well I feel like the shades you use are not very harmonic with the environment. when you see the background with the house and the pourple sky and stuff like that... it looks too rainbowy.
anyways its good. the story is interesting..... but the entire thing is sorta boring, have to say.....
Burdoc responds:
Thanks for the review. Those are some good pointers. I suppose the cat's meows could have been a bit quieter, and the walk cycles are based off the ones from my earlier flashes - so a bit of sprucing up there is probably in order. My next flash will move away from this style, but the colours and gradients are something I like messing around with, so they will be staying, although I'll try for a more eye-pleasing colour pallette.
Cheers for your input
Not bad
I like the drawing and animation, and whilst you can improve the humour and script a bit, as well as voice acting. I think this can become a good series.
Burdoc responds:
Thanks for the review. I don't have any further ideas for a series at the moment, but if something pops up, I'll spend more time on the script, which was a bit over looked as you pointed out.
Well made
Good animation and sounding but I don't really follow the story.