This is my first submission to Newgrounds! I have been lurking the site for many years studying the work of Knox and Tommorow's Nobodies. This movie is my first complete attempt at flash. Its the best thing ive created so far.
The Song is called "Keep Us Apart" from the band Big Attack!. The band is socio/political punk band from philadelphia. Ive been listening to them for about a year or two now and if you like punk check them out. This video is unoffical and is fan made...just to clarify.
I know what it takes to be blammed and if it happens...it happens...i will just have to work hard to prevent it happening again and learn from my mistakes. Im also open for all constructive critism and im willing to take the low blows in order to make my flash that much better.
Thanks and enjoy,
Jon Light
nice!
you had some really good pictures that must of been quite hard to find, then you had some terrible animation with the plane which i lauGHed at ... loudly ... but the words for the bit in the middle was quite good and the idea was allright, bit to long.
p.s perhaps put a epilipsy warning on because the flashing got a bit eccentric towards end.
Y@Y
yeah i understand about the plane thing...a good concept with some choppy animation...any advice on how to smooth it out a bit?
nice
at least your not one of those guys who take the mick out of stuff like this
wtf
what the hell was that crap
i believe that was a flash submission
Awesome
This was awesome, but only if you were the one who made the pictures.. or id have givin u a 2.. i gave u a 4
thank you...yes unfortuantly i did not make the pictures but if i did this would have been blammed so fast its ridicolous and besides i was going for more of a flash artistic political video not so much "cartoonish" i wanted the videos to be artsy and meaningful...if i drew them i feel like i wouldnt have achieved that...thanks again for the review and the rating!
No tie binds
I do appreciate that there was an effort here made and that with that it has to be at least acknowledged. But the number of flaws seemed rather numerous and it is a lot to work upon.
Where was the narrative thread? It seemed like you were trying to make some point with the repeat images and actions but you failed to really have a clearcut idea. It came off more as a hodgepodge of the general news cycle inspired psyche. Perhaps your idea was really only to show a glimpse of all the various things which dominate the general mindscape but my instinct suggests otherwise.
A major problem was the repetitive flash pattern you used. It grated on the nerves rather than really providing anything to the video. Had it at least been synched into a tempo with the music but instead it seemed a rapid fire completely unrelated to the song. Jarring and frustrating in the attempts to watch things through to the end.
The song itself was really quite good and it did seem to work into the meta-theme you were building towards. In general, though it seemed like it wasn't utilized to the utmost. The lyric scrolls were actually more visually appealing than they often are in similar style. But that was the only real incorporation of the song. Yes it shared thematics but because your real 'concept' was not solidly formed it was only a vague parallel.
The part that I would be really careful about is the 'suicide' or shot to the head thing. A year of film school shows you there is nothing that is more commonly trotted out in a display of hopefully being avant-garde than suicide unless its drug overdoses. I forget which won the tally while I was there but in either case, just don't do it. Its an easy copout and until you are seasoned in your creations its really going to come off cheap.
Now, all of this is ultimately forgivable because I think you really wanted to create something and its hard to fault that. But I think your desire to create was actually outpacing your idea of what you were making. Time, planning and conceptualizing are your friends in any project. Wiork out for sure what you want to say, figure out your limitations and how, despite those you can best express it. Try to focus on a more specific idea and make sure its something you feel strongly about.
...and yes this is not something that happens a lot here but I can always hope.
firts of all...thank you...i really do appreciate you taking the time to analyze my work so specifically. I realize everything you said is true and my point of the flash is to basically say "no matter what happens today...it wont keep us apart". I made the flash to the best of my ability and used the resources i had to make it for the band that i love and have so much respect for. As for the suicide thing and all i tried to go for some sort of shock value in a sense...i tried to tackle hard issues and some of the pictures even disturbed me while making it...my next submission will be less graphic...thank you again.