I can't say I liked it

work on the art and try to expand the story

Getting there

I can see that your capable of producing something of higher quality. HEres a few pointers on how to do better. First, watch your layering, you had a few bad spots that were just lazy, reckless, or you just didn't see them somehow. Secondly, your art could be better, although it did have a style to it that worked well enough. You picked good music to go along, set the mood right. Lastly, spend more time, I remember when all I wanted was to finish something so that I could get it through judgment, however if you just spend enough time to make it exactly how you imagined and wanted it, the outcome is so much more rewarding. Anyway, keep at it, there is potential here.