That was sad yet sweet. Nice job!
Author Comments
hi this is just a poem i wrote a while back if you dont get it im talking about how people change as the sun gose down some people act violent some fearful others romantic ect. i call this shadows grip, hope you like it oh and sorry about the music it ends befor i wanted it to but oh well
(i have a problem this is much better than my first animation but i dont know what style i should stick with, but any ways thanx 4 watching)
is that a guy or girl?
great way of putting it
a verry beatufull poem I have to say.
the music choise was realy good exept for the point that the music was too short for the animation and then there was a whole slience part wich is a pitty for the result.
anyway the animation was also great and the fading from the letters and immages made it look like shadows fading wich fits the animation right.
just a nearly perfect combination from music subject immages and words.
Jestercap13 responds:
thank you, yeah this was before i was any good a sincing music with animation, it was good but i wish it was better lol but thats what old animations and mistakes are there for so you can learn from them but thanks im glad you liked it
some good, some bad
overall, it was better than many flashes submitted through the portal.
as far as the poem goes, there were some spelling errors (already mentioned), and I like the subject matter. I wasn't really a fan of your rhyme scheme though, it was quite basic. at some points it seemed you were stretching for rhymes in ways that would work lyrically, but not on paper. this sort of thing can improve with practice, but don't feel obligated to rhyme. I almost think that you could've done much better if it were written as a monologue or somesuch.
the toon wasn't that bad, you put effort into it--that much is evident. all I can say is that you should keep working, keep making toons and improve on little things each time. all of the problems you had were the sort of thing that changes with lots of practice.
keep working!
Jestercap13 responds:
thanx and yes the rhyme scheme was basic but i dont realy know that many schemes and this just came to mind but thanx if i make a new one keep what you said in mind
Art
I liked it, because it combines artforms, and has a high dose os creativity. Good poem, although the theme is a bit "undefined", or maybe loose, but it fits so much with the animation. All I want to say, is that after the first half minute (cool intro btw), I immediately wanted to smash that 5 button up there.
Although, it felt like it's not "whole", like you have something more to say about the shadow's grip.
Peace
Jestercap13 responds:
wow thanx and i did also think it was not whole but i didnt know what else to say and what not but thanx 4 watching i should have more comeing later
