good idea

but slow down you dont need to tell the whole story in one flash. just take a part of it it doesn't even need to be the start, but pick one bit and animate that. take your time let the stroy come out. i liked the idea of the dude escaping the city and finding some power to come back and defeat the ruler of the city how about u follow that through.
in the in all i can say is slow down. u have the rest of your life to tell this story so spread it out a bit.
go get a cheep mic and record the narrative i hate text overs

heya

looks like a pretty cool storyline and there was alot of effort put into this but while watching it, it really got boring, like you need work on your story telling ability, alothough the storyline was good the movie was boring, and although your graphics are ok they can use alot of improvment. and plus how do you reach into your eternity lol last time i tried to reach somones eternity i got sued for sexual harassment haha. but yeah thats about it :) keep it up matey

Nice

This is a great idea for a book. but for a portal, in my opinion :) you should make it in parts. After you finish your book of course... But it was good. I liked the story to it. Hope you do good with your book. Have a nice one. :) later.

nothing too new

wow....pretty darn emo....

preloader lacks

it was pretty good for being your first, but if you need a preloader its pretty easy to go to downloads and find an NG preloader, try it next time