I like this
Now I like this one for a number of reasons but mostly because you have added good design and ofcourse the element of suprise which really made for a fun experience and overall a good start here. This was really good I love the dark feel here very "NOIR" you really outdid yourself with this one, the "VOICE" could use some more effort though, but other then that this was great, I will ad this one to my faves list. And I was pretty happy with the outcome, so nice job and nice efforts. You have some good effort and skill just use it to your full potential, and make us some master pieces.
~~THINGS TO IMPROVE ON~~
So this is where I may suggest some small tips and possibly some suggestions, I hope you will take a small look into some of the suggestions. but honestly I only have one suggestion and that is with the voices they need a bit more effort and quality to them more passion.