Jay Short # 1!

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Derek: I've been busy with other things but their's always time for friends. Jay asked me to help him out with his own mini series featuring short little episodes of the adventures of Chibi Jay. Now remember folks this is all just for fun.

Jay: It's Jay Short # 1! Weeeeeeee!

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(title in work)

^^Good Points^^
You definitely had good graphics in this. I liked the animations, they were pretty good, even the running animations, which I know are hard to do. I also liked the music. I didn't go with the carnage, but at least it went with the sunny day.

^^Needs Improving^^
I'm not sure exactly what to say. It was a little random and a little bit sick, not quite sure I liked it that much. It is really short, which I expected, but not too satisfying either.

TheCriminalDuder responds:

Yeah these Jay shorts are pretty much ment to be random shorts of things Jay thinks of and I animated.
The Jay vs. Val and The Duders are much better.

Some good quality, but needs improving.

Graphics for this were quite good. They didn't need to be incredibly amazing, and they weren't terrible either. However, the grass and sky was too plain. Maybe adding a little more shading and clouds would help.

Jay himself was very well drawn, however the feet didn't look very consistent. The head was definitely the best part. However, the red bits around his teeth made them look like they were floating.

The way in which you changed the angles was fluidy done, but could use a few more angles in between to make it that little bit smoother.

Loved the little tune playing through the flash. Added a great feel to it. However, the running sound effect did get annoying after a while.

To Improve....
I'd add a bit more animation, such as at the end, show Jay actually eating the dog. A bit of back story on why Jay likes to eat dogs would also help boost your score. People like story lines. So next time, maybe try something about a disturbed childhood.

Good luck in future.

TheCriminalDuder responds:


Short, sweet and sick

All at the same time, which is quite impressive. I'm not really a fan of the music, as it sounds like it goes out of tune every now and again.

I think you've put quite a bit of effort into the drawing of Jay and then slightly less into drawing things like the dog. For me, it showed, as it didn't seem so smooth, but why would it if you were just going to kill it off a few frames later.

I'd personally like to see it being a little longer, as you coudl make it up to about half a minute longer and still get away with calling it a short. Maybe Jay stops when he sees the dog, then tries to call it over. When it doesn't come, he leaps on it and makes it into dinner. Maybe a few little sound effects, to make the music a little secondary, like a slash of the knife, a thud as he lands on the floor etc.

Little touches that make all the difference, but it's worth having a think about.

[Review Request Club]

TheCriminalDuder responds:

Good advice here. I'll remember it.

ok n nice

IT was ok for starters as the animation was not bad but it would be better if u lengthen it

TheCriminalDuder responds:

So because it's short it gets a "0"?


Hahaha! That was funny but it would be better if it was longer!

TheCriminalDuder responds:

Their ment to be short... Now anyway. May change in the future.

Credits & Info

2.57 / 5.00

Jul 19, 2007
2:00 AM EDT