Edit: never underestimate the power of ignorance. An apology to everyone who's played the game so far and found it handled like ass. I've, er, "tweaked" the file a bit for goodness.

Flash 8's required if you don't already have it. I'm assuming graphic-intensity from most of the products I make, so just to be on the safe side don't have too much crunk clogging up your computer when playing along.

Cursor keys move the ship and switch between options. X, C and V toggle your quality, whereas A and Z determine how fast your ship moves. Control is the "OK" function for opening options, and the Space Bar is your friend when it comes to firing lasers.

In a videogame genre where intricate enemy patterns abound and multiple weapons make mincemeat of everything on the screen, this Armor Games-sponsered shoot-em-up relies more on accuracy and points (and a wonky art 'style') for its shits and giggles. As Captain Gray Darius, pilot of the Zig Zuton, you possess an arsenal that would make a footballer laugh and face an opposition that doesn't dare exercise the meaning of the word "attack". Story Mode crowbars a plot into 10 stages of Boydulon-blasting goodness, and Score Attack allows you to rack up the big combos and post your victories online for all to see.

Whichever mode you decide to tackle, you'll only get ahead by aiming well and making every laser count. Scattershot tactics will be your downfall, but if you do kick the big one, take some solace in the fact that a restart - and perhaps a password - is only a button press away.

Who knows, if you get far enough into the story it might be worth your while.

Don't forget to leave some comments and critique behind. You know, just in case the entire game suddenly runs backwards or grinds to a complete halt. I wouldn't like for that to happen.