I'm back, britches! I can play the last game of 2006 now, so here you go; I'm providing a professional review by your favorite professional reviewer, Voxalice.
First off, I hate to start out with criticism... but goddamn, this looks basic. Not a good first impression when the snow effect and the intro are the most advanced graphics!
Alright, ignoring that, how about I actually try to solve the puzzles.
LMAOOOO, no. Maybe it's just me, but I couldn't solve crap for my life. Yes, I genuinely used a walkthrough review for a few parts (although I did use my brain for some of them). Was your intent to make the game as sophisticated as possible, or am I really that stupid???
And all criticism aside, absolutely subtle and natural sponsorship, I didn't even notice I was being advertised to!
Okay, okay, I'll hold off on the criticism for a second, seriously. Praise incoming.
It's 3D. That's all that needs to be said.
You know what? All this could be chalked up to me not having fun with escape rooms. I don't know. But honestly, I didn't like this all too much anyway.
ESPECIALLY THE FRIGGIN """"PUZZLE"""" WHERE YOU CLICK ON ONE SPECIFIC PIXEL IN ONE SPECIFIC SPOT TO GET A NECESSARY KEY WHICH YOU NEED TO PROGRESS. THAT WAS ABSOLUTELY BRUTAL.
Okay, okay, maybe I just need to calm myself down! Escape room games aren't my entire life, it's fine. I can just accept that this game isn't for me, and move on.
...or I could write thousands of characters, all just to rate this game 5/10. Yeah, I think I'll do that.
So, to conclude in proper oldschool NG fashion, I'll give this game 6 ratings for each main point.
Graphics: 3 (the graphics are okay at best)
Sound: 0 (PFFFFFFffft hAHA)
Interactivity: 4 (as much as i can't be bothered to figure everything out, it's pretty interactive)
Style: 5 (3d graphics? it's a miracle)
Violence: 0 (no...)
Humor: 0 (damn bro you got the whole squad laughing)
To quote another incredible poet, "alright, i'm friggin stuck!!!"
...like glue.