ok here is a list of improvments...
1. The sound was muffled, record it with your mouth farther from the microphone
2. Movement was to slow and so was the transition to different instances, try to speed that up a bit
3. Show more of the "Pursuers"
4. Give a little bit more, we were left with only the information that bad guys are after a child, maybe include the reason why like maybe he saw something he saw that he shouldn't have
5. Who exactly "they" killed
6. Basically 3-5 are suggesting to have more of a plot
I will be sure to watch the future and edied version, good luck.