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I'm going to make more to this later

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I really don't like the storyline, well the story is fine...but I can't read it, and what I did read was "hi my name is zach" and other things such as that. I dig on the black and white and red thing though. groovy. the only thing I would work on is the script...but then again...I couldn't see much of it so you could be sheakspeare for all I know!

A Few Suggestions...

This flash does have potential... However, there are some pretty big problems that stand out. I understand that you're not really done with this yet, but I do have some suggestions.

1.) The dialog text needs to be bigger! Too much time was taken just trying to see what it said instead of focusing on the animation. If you could put in voices, that would be even better!

2.) It needs a story or at least a lead-in - so the viewer can understand what's going on. This is also tied in with the small size of the dialog text.

3.)It needs more fluid animation, and something a bit more than just black silhouettes on a white background. While it is a certain style, it's a tad cliché.

Anyway, keep on working at it, and I'm sure you can make it into something special!

Don't think you need to make any more of this...

The graphics weren't awful, but did the little guy really have to run for like 5 hours? And I don't know if this was just my sucky comp but the music kept like stopping for no apparent reason. Honestly I think you should come up with a different story line. People like funny more than action, in most cases. Not that there was much action in this.

Thanks for submitting to NG.

The text was too small to read and went by too fast. making it impossible to know what was going on. Text bubbles would work better. Slow it down a bit so we can read it too. Also you might consider a color background so the viewer can get a better idea of where this is all happening. It doesn't have to be detailed, just something other than the white screen.

Rushed job :/

Couple of pointers:

1) If you can't spell something then run it through a spell checker instead of guessing :P

2) Needs a hell of a lot more tweaking & polishing up. Some of the subtitles flash past so fast you can't even see them let alone read.

PS: No one likes millions of exclamations marks.

Credits & Info

3.40 / 5.00

Nov 11, 2005
12:08 PM EST