Fear not, for I have a plan!
Ok so hears my idea. We take the money that we get from playing scratch offs at the local Hob-beebs. AKA the Arabian quicky-mart and invest it into stocks.. "EVIL!" stocks.. Then we take the "EVIL!" stock money and use it to build a lab.. an "EVIL!" lab. Pay a bunch of smart looking mokeys wearing diapers and lab glasses PLUS ROBES! "evil robes". Power it by hamsters.. "EVIL!" hamsters cost too much. Then manufactor "EVIL!" Clone Bees that crap out acidic honey on people's heads. Using a REALLY big spork we scoop out their brains out of their melted heads. Taking the REALLY big spork we shovel the brains into zip lock baggies and put them in an "EVIL" freezing. ((P.S.) They dont make evil sporks.. I know its just wrong. I wrote to my congressmen about it don't worry.) Then I go and take a BIG CRAP because thats a lot of work. After I wash my hands with an "EVIL" bar of Dove soap. It feels soft on my hands.. We thaw out the brains using a very ingenative invention.. an "EVIL" magifining glass. MU-HAHAHAHA! EVIL I KNOW! We sprinkle Tinker Bell dust on the "EVIL-LY!" thawed out brains. Feed it to the rocks and watch them do the mackaraina!
Or we could just hit the big shiney red button and launch the hydrogen bomb. (Way bigger than a nuke.. trust me. By like 100 time bigger.) Then we could have Afternoon tea and crumbits and watch Dr. Phill and OPRA! And by we I mean you, myself, and the REALLY BIG "EVIL!" Spork, SPORKIE! Who comes in 3 different colors and does your taxes!