Dear Great-Aunt Bobina,

Thank you for inviting all of us over for Christmas. I loved my stupid ass you served; you always make it so green. I guess Uncle Bababooie was really fun, since he cummed in someone else's ass! Thank you also for giving me NOTHING BUT FUCKING DEODERANT, I think Twomad uses that.

Alas, my sister loved the shit brown hat you gave her, she's going to become it at the pep-rally next week. I'm sorry Keely broke your ottoman, we were having a rap battle in the bathroom, and then it suddenly went BAZINGA. We will pay you to have it fixed by cleaning your testicle. I can't wait to see you next year at Leif Erickson Day!

- Love, Me (fuck you, you'll never know lol)

Dear Great-Aunt Christa,

Thank you for inviting us all over for Halloween. I loved the Stupid Ham you served; you always make it so Fatt. I guess Uncle Omid was Puking Thank you also for the SHIT. I heard AL GORE uses that kind. CRAP!! My sister loved the White Suit you gave her; she's going to run it at the Prom next week.s really Gay, since he DEADED in the CANDY CORN! I'm sorry Kaleb and I broke your Sofa. We were FUCKING in the The Hospital when it suddenly went 'BOOM!'! We will pay you to have it fixed by FUCKING your A Depressed Woman. I can't wait to see you next year at THANKSGIVING!

Thank you for inviting us all over for Hanukkah. I loved the smelly children you served; you always make it so tired. I guess Uncle Sebastian was really slow, since he pulled in the baby hearts! Thank you also for the dismembered dogs. I heard Charles Manson uses that kind. Fuck! My sister loved the brown panties you gave her; she's going to run it at the shooting next week. I'm sorry Nathaniel and I broke your chair. We were killing in the kitchen when it suddenly went 'KABOOM'! We will pay you to have it fixed by scrubbing your cat. I can't wait to see you next year at Thanksgiving!

Thank you for inviting us all over for Easter . I loved the Fucking gorgeous Easter egg you served; you always make it so Delicious. I guess Uncle Alucard was really Sexy, since he Walked in the Cotton Candy!
Thank you also for the lump of shit. I heard Jacksepticeye uses that kind. Holy Fuck Nuggets!! My sister loved the Brown Bra you gave her; she's going to kiss it at the GCSEs next week.
I'm sorry Rachel and I broke your Bed. We were Fucking in the Bedroom when it suddenly went 'BOOM!'! We will pay you to have it fixed by Cleaning your Child. I can't wait to see you next year at Christmas!
Love Nicholas Cage

Dear great aunt cunt,
Thank you for inviting us all over for 9/11. I loved the horrifying gonorrhea gyro you served you always make it so horrible you putrid fucking cunt. I guess Uncle Charles Manson the kitten rapist was really satanic because he jizzed in the vagina turkey! Thank you also for a goddamn used condom. I heard obama uses that kind. HOLY COW TITS!! My sister loved the black bondage suit you gave her ; she's going to be gangbanged in it at the blood orgy next week. I'm sorry cow herpes and I busted you fucking head open. We were fucking Kate upton in the sex dungeon when it suddenly went KAMOTHERFUCKINGBOOM!!!!!!!!!!!! We will pay to have it fixed by gangbanging a dead deer and putting the footage on pornhub. I cant wait to see you next year on 420! Sincerely,Me!
ps.It took me like 20 minutes to type that cuz I was laughing so hard.
This is a pretty kickass game cuz u get to share your stuff with other ppl.