Here is its eulogy, a collection of the kind words written about it while still among the living. They shall live on forever in its place.

Ohhhh boy, this game. This here game. This. Game. Whoah jeez, this game.

First off, if you don't have awesome amounts of patience, you're better off somewhere else. This game takes a lot of dedication to beat. You're a snail. What do you expect?

This game was originally made for a competition on the "Longest Lasting Game" but I didn't win anything. Of course I didn't win anything when I'm going up against famous developers and major corporations with a whole damned TEAM of developers. I'm just one dude!

Well, here you go: one heaping plate of SNAIL. Don't worry, you'll level up and gain upgrades. Sorta.

Theres no music. Add your own soundtracks! While Turbo-Spinning, make race car noises! VRRRRRRRRRR EEEERRRRR SKEEEEEE ERRRR! While jumping, go WHOOOOSH! Play some crappy music you have stored on your computer to help the time pass and pray you don't break your right arrow key!

The ending makes up for the whole thing. I swear.

ALSO: For those of you who are asking "why the colons in the name?" its because "Snail" and "The Snail" were taken and I am uncreative so heres some colons

ALSOALSO: Oh hey, daily third. That is better than nothing.