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Fuck, this day was awesome!

591 Views | 6 Replies

Oh god, this day fucking ruled! I got captained for the football team, chatted up by some girls, and pummeled the retard kid in our class.

Ok ok, this all started in 3rd period, PE, and dodge ball was the name of the game. I was laughing and joking with my mates, and getting really stuck into it. But then the retard kid in our class (you know how all classes have at least one really retarded child) started to spoil it for us. He started drooling at my girlfriend, Jenny, until he went up to her and tried to touch her left breast. I was so pissed, that I picked up my dodge ball, and smacked him round the head with it 10-20 times.

Maybe it was a bit harsh, seeing as he has down syndrome and everything, but at least he learnt a valuable lesson in life. That's if he can bother to pay attention for more than 5 seconds before trying to eat his shoulder.

So yeah, the game went on for a bit, and Zac Featherston (the retard kid) joins in. We were humouring him and stuff, and letting ourselves be caught out, when he takes it too far. He grabs a girl's hair, and starts pulling her towards his groin.

This was the last straw, so my mates and I came over and kicked him out of his wheelchair. I don't even know why he took PE for an option, unless he wants to be a wheel-chair basket baller when he's older. So when we started walking away, he started shouting names at us! "FUDDAING GAY BOIYSZX" he said with some sadistic grin on his face, and his hand down his trousers, now furiously masturbating.

I couldn't believe it; we grabbed our dodgeballs, and hurled them at him. It was hilarious! He made those stupid downer noises that they all make, and ended up spraying cum in his face. The cherry on the top was that he didn't even realise that he came, and proceeded to get up. I can't remember what he did exactly, but he made some power-ranger kind of stance (in a wheelchair) and shouted: "I'M GONNA FUCS YOU UP FACJER!"

He then flipped out, and subsequently smashed his head on the wall. After everyone had finished pissing themselves with laughter, he gets up. The cum is now plastered all over his face, and even hanging from his dirty ginger hair.

The coach tells him to come over, and starts to talk rationally to Zac, (although you could tell he was trying not to laugh). It was then that Zac made some banshee sort of scream, and peddled his way out of the room.

It was like he was moving out in slow motion, to add to the already huge comical effect. The door shut with a huge bang behind him, and everyone burst out into laughter.

"OH SHITR I GOT SPERMN IN MIY HEAIR AGIN ):" Screamed a muffled voice from outside the gym. This only ensued in even more lulz.

After about the 6th period, I come outside to see a gaggle of people around Zac. They were all pointing and laughing, and I had absolutely no idea why. It was then the smell hit me. The smell of shit. It became apparent that Zac had shit his pants after the principal finished telling him off for sexually assaulting a girl.

It's the retarded people in life that make it all worthwhile, doncha think? God, this has got to be one of the best days of my life, (or at least the funniest one); I guess that he can't help it though seeing as he has AIDS on his face too. ):

How was your day?


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Response to Fuck, this day was awesome! Apr 11, 2007


For a parody thread, not bad.

I fived it.

Response to Fuck, this day was awesome! Apr 11, 2007


that's an awfully long parody thread.

either way, it's spring. football is in the fall, so you can't have been named captain. your story is void. kthx


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Response to Fuck, this day was awesome! Apr 11, 2007


you beat a mentally handicapped kid.......WOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!!!


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Response to Fuck, this day was awesome! Apr 11, 2007


You beat up a kid with Down Syndrome.

Damnit your cool!


Skype: the_sleuth

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Response to Fuck, this day was awesome! Apr 11, 2007


I read it until the part about beating up a retarded kid and I just started laughing.


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Response to Fuck, this day was awesome! Apr 11, 2007


lmao nice parody thread and geez way to beat up mentally handicapped kids


Dancing Pineapple Guy!

128th EGSC. I popped NEVR's BBS ban cherry.

Also cocks.

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