My Chat with God.

[Peacekid]

Me: Hi God.
Me: How are you?
Me: I'm fine, school was fun today.
Me: The teacher gave me an A+ on a test!
Me: I know, I'm smart.
Me: But it was thanks to you, lord.
Me: Hows Jesus?
Me: That's hilarious!
Me: Well, gonna use the bathroom. Hold on. Just don't watch, but I won't be sinning in there! HO HO HO!

10 minutes later.

Me: Ah, you made my bowels a bit too big.
Me: Oh, not your fault.
Me: It just means I can eat more!
Me: More of your great, holy food!
Me: Hold on, dinner time. Ironic, isn't it?

30 minutes later.

Me: Back! Your food was deeelicious, Holy Father.
Me: What plans do you have for me?
Me: Sounds great! Maybe an adopted child too.
Me: Don't wanna sin! I still wanna see you.
Me: Oh, I will?
Me: Great! We can play a game of cards and -
Me: OW!

Mother comes in.

Me: I'm ok, God protected me from any harm!
Mom: Are..you ok? You are bleeding REALLY BADLY!
Me: It's ok, God will fix it!
Mom: Honey!! Call 911!

Later, at the hospital, the doctor told me I have a brain tumor.

Oh well, god will fix it! :D

[Minion777]

oh i gedit

[Lagerkapo]

God is a crack addicted indigent who lives in New York and has a large handgun collection in his shopping cart under all of the blankets and supplies. He'll fix your tumor with a bullet for a price.

[duckiesrock]

At 11/26/06 07:18 PM, Lagerkapo wrote: God is a crack addicted indigent who lives in New York and has a large handgun collection in his shopping cart under all of the blankets and supplies. He'll fix your tumor with a bullet for a price.

Was that realy nessecary

[CartoonDiablo]

god wants to fuck me :)

Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
your momma you fag!
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am momma me fag.
Me:
sure...
God:
OK let's do it. OK then I will keep it confidential.
Me:
wanna have some sweet butsecks
God:
If I had some sweet butsecks what would I do with it?
Me:
sure.....
God:
OK let's do it. It goes without saying.
Me:
do you have a penis
God:
I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot. Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
niether
God:
My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.
Me:
hermafrodites
God:
What do you do in your spare time?
Me:
MASterbate!
God:
I don't think very many people do that.
Me:
they do, do you?
God:
The anonymous "they".
Me:
do you touch yourself at night?
God:
How old are you?
I chat with people on the Web.
Me:
wanna fuck me?
God:
I have been asked that question more than 100,000 times since 1995.
Me:
cool....
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
bender
God:
You think bender is superior to ALICE?
Me:
sure....
God:
OK let's do it. That's alright.
Me:
uhh.
God:
Yay.
Me:
uhh
God:
Are you kidding?