Ever since I've made really good friends with an intersex trans-coworker, I've been thinking about the use of "they/them/their" a lot. They were born as a female, and it admittedly took me a long time to train myself to adhere to their preferred pronouns because I kept slipping up calling them a "she" and they'd be quick to correct me. But in time, it started to make sense as I learned more about their personality, and eventually it stuck.
Online, gender doesn't really matter- we're all equally worthless and terrible. But there's still the general feeling that, when we encounter someone with an ambiguous identity, we default to assuming they're a "He."
And it's not just regulated to here, which contextually makes sense because Newgrounds is a website that for it's earliest years adorned itself with hentai banner ads aimed at horny young teenagers. But it's everywhere we interact with people that we may not necessarily hear or see the real them.
So if gender identity is ambiguous online, why not train ourselves to default to "they, them, their" when addressing people?
There's no way that could be inaccurate.
Instead of saying "I'm a guy, so of course I love titties" to say "I have blood pumping in me" because chicks dig that too.
and visa-versa for typically feminine stereotypes being saddled with "As a lady" because dudes share those attributes/passions/activities too, and toxic masculinity (keyword, ***TOXIC***...not saying masculinity is bad, but being shamed for doing feminine things is bullshit and) should be phased out.
So why assume and default the gender to people we interact with online is a dude? If we're proponents to gender equality, wouldn't it benefit our social interactions... by giving the benefit of the doubt that the person saying smart, funny, stupid, or awful bullshit or whatever... could have just as much likelihood as being a woman or intersex? I think it's a unique thing to weigh and consider since english isn't inherently locked in with gender identity in their language, like spanish for example; with masculine and feminine variants to all sorts of words and descriptors, objects, determiners, verbs, you name it.
My point is, I don't want to strain your brain to change you, I just want to point out that with a slight tweak in how you address people, you could be respectful and accurate without making assumptions about somebody that you don't know. Someone's having relationship troubles and didn't describe who the other person is, to default to "partner, loved one, boo, asshole" instead of assuming it's a boyfriend or girlfriend, a putrid dick or a loathsome cunt.
...Though I guess dudes can be loathsome cunts too, but I don't think chicks can be putrid dicks. I'm not sure about that.
Truth is we don't know for sure, and in cases like Ever-After, we may NEVER know for sure, and that's okay! It's not our business. But if you default refer people as "them" inclusively, hey good job, you weren't wrong.
-Formerly known as Phobotech-
Voice Actor / Pre-Production Animator / Illustrator / T-Shirt Designer / Author
"I sail through a golden nexus. By tanks with armor that glisten. I watch and I play with creations, and what I'm not reading, I listen." <-
