Feel kinda lonely nowadays. A girlfriend would be nice... I've actually already got two potential lovers but they will never write to me. Been waiting for a year on one of them and the other... well, it's been a long long time. I met her when I was lame as fuck.

I need a girlfriend. Naow.

Here you go.

Go get one

At 4/26/18 12:18 PM, Atlas wrote: Here you go.

Yeah thanks... but I'd rather find a girl here on Newgrounds. Not really my style of meeting up.

At 4/26/18 12:31 PM, AudioMachina22 wrote: Yeah thanks... but I'd rather find a girl here on Newgrounds.

Spoiler alert, you probably won't.

Why not ask out your "potential lovers"? Take action instead of waiting for it to happen to you.

I am the hawtest girl you can find here, though if you want to date me you have to accommodate for the fact that I'm a man.

At 4/26/18 12:34 PM, Hattok wrote:

At 4/26/18 12:31 PM, AudioMachina22 wrote: Yeah thanks... but I'd rather find a girl here on Newgrounds.

Spoiler alert, you probably won't.

Why not ask out your "potential lovers"? Take action instead of waiting for it to happen to you.

Well worth a try at least.

I've showed them lots of attention. No luck at all. Guess they're too shy.

Get a hooker. That's more cost-efficient.

At 4/26/18 12:41 PM, AudioMachina22 wrote: I've showed them lots of attention. No luck at all. Guess they're too shy.

Yeah, sometimes giving people a lot of attention isn't enough to spark 'em. The problem may be that you're both waiting for the other person to start it. Take the initiative!

At 4/26/18 12:42 PM, lalilulelo008 wrote: you need to make a sign and business cards

Exactly...

At 4/26/18 12:56 PM, Hattok wrote:

At 4/26/18 12:41 PM, AudioMachina22 wrote: I've showed them lots of attention. No luck at all. Guess they're too shy.

Yeah, sometimes giving people a lot of attention isn't enough to spark 'em. The problem may be that you're both waiting for the other person to start it. Take the initiative!

Sounds reasonable. I'll tell them that I love them or something. Be straight forward.

At 4/26/18 12:58 PM, AudioMachina22 wrote: Sounds reasonable. I'll tell them that I love them or something. Be straight forward.

Saying the "L" word may freak the other person out if they don't feel the same way quite yet. It'd be more tactful to start small, like saying you have feelings for them.

If you insist that you need one, you're not going to find someone. Finding an SO isn't something you should force, especially because people recognize it happening and will end up avoiding you.

Just keep making friends, and eventually it'll just happen on it's own.

At 4/26/18 01:05 PM, Oddlem wrote: If you insist that you need one, you're not going to find someone. Finding an SO isn't something you should force, especially because people recognize it happening and will end up avoiding you.

Just keep making friends, and eventually it'll just happen on it's own.

Yeah friends, they are the most important bridge to everything. Like all the emotional support they give you. Depressions makes you realize how much people matter.

You're cute btw.

At 4/26/18 01:07 PM, FireFoxxy wrote: I feel your pain.

Stay strong brother. The time will come when our dream comes true.

At 4/26/18 12:30 PM, CiviLies wrote: Go get one

Just take her right off the street.

Throw her in your trunk.

At 4/26/18 12:14 PM, AudioMachina22 wrote: Naow.

You're going to have to lower your standards...

Significantly.

At 4/26/18 03:01 PM, FireFoxxy wrote: Someone ought to make a official newgrounds "How To" guide for this topic. So many of us ask the same questions.

Yeah.

I need a girlfriend. Naow.

step one; get girl clothes and makeup.
step two; put it on and make yourself look hot.
step three; provocative pose and snap a Polaroid.
step four; now just carry the photo around in your wallet sos you can haver with you.
it is guaranteed she wont cheat on you.

At 4/26/18 03:46 PM, Comet-Comics wrote:

I need a girlfriend. Naow.

step one; get girl clothes and makeup.
step two; put it on and make yourself look hot.
step three; provocative pose and snap a Polaroid.
step four; now just carry the photo around in your wallet sos you can haver with you.
it is guaranteed she wont cheat on you.

step one: say hi
step two: say bye
step three: cry
step four: give him/her a slap on the face
this method is guarranteed to work on everyone. A method I discovered thanks to your genius idea.

step one: say hi
step two: say bye
step three: cry
step four: give him/her a slap on the face
this method is guarranteed to work on everyone. A method I discovered thanks to your genius idea.

wEll weLL WelL,
it dose woik.

At 4/26/18 03:46 PM, Comet-Comics wrote:

I need a girlfriend. Naow.

step one; get girl clothes and makeup.
step two; put it on and make yourself look hot.
step three; provocative pose and snap a Polaroid.
step four; now just carry the photo around in your wallet sos you can haver with you.
it is guaranteed she wont cheat on you.

I might have trouble with step two

I might have trouble with step two

ask mom for help with step 2 if you are too ug...er uh if you have trouble with it.

At 4/26/18 02:23 PM, Alias wrote:

At 4/26/18 12:30 PM, CiviLies wrote: Go get one

Just take her right off the street.

Throw her in your trunk.

This is how I get all of mine.

Just make some friends who are girls and don't rush it. a relationship takes time as well as you can't force love or force someone to be your gf. also if they know your only looking for a girlfriend they might leave and avoid you and i don't think you want that. try to be yourself, not forcefull and try to give them attention like video chat with them once in a while and chat with them often. that usually works. anyway good luck on the search.mabey you'll one day find someone.

At 4/26/18 12:14 PM, AudioMachina22 wrote: Feel kinda lonely nowadays. A girlfriend would be nice... I've actually already got two potential lovers but they will never write to me. Been waiting for a year on one of them and the other... well, it's been a long long time. I met her when I was lame as fuck.

I need a girlfriend. Naow.

good luck

You and me both brother. Good luck. If you get a girlfriend in the future, let me know. I'd love to see you happy.

At 4/26/18 05:47 PM, SevenSeize wrote:

At 4/26/18 02:23 PM, Alias wrote:

At 4/26/18 12:30 PM, CiviLies wrote: Go get one

Just take her right off the street.

Throw her in your trunk.

This is how I get all of mine.

Little-known lifehack:
If you kidnap a woman, you're legally married to her.

You're welcome, OP

At 4/26/18 05:47 PM, SevenSeize wrote:

At 4/26/18 02:23 PM, Alias wrote:

At 4/26/18 12:30 PM, CiviLies wrote: Go get one

Just take her right off the street.

Throw her in your trunk.

This is how I get all of mine.

I refuse to call the ladies I get this way "girlfriends" since that would imply some kind of emotional attachment which not only am I incapable of, but which would be very impractical when I have to kill them in order to prevent them from telling anyone about the location of my secret evil overlord base.

At 4/27/18 05:38 AM, DamnedByFate wrote:

At 4/26/18 05:47 PM, SevenSeize wrote:

At 4/26/18 02:23 PM, Alias wrote:

At 4/26/18 12:30 PM, CiviLies wrote: Go get one

Just take her right off the street.

Throw her in your trunk.

This is how I get all of mine.

I refuse to call the ladies I get this way "girlfriends" since that would imply some kind of emotional attachment which not only am I incapable of, but which etc etc

Yeah nice. I'm kinda bored... Gotta wait 3 hours to go home... Feels like I've been jailed.