Adventures at Target

[DrSevenSeizeMD]

So I went to Target after work, because I'm a chick, and Target uses subliminal lighting/sounds/smells etc. to brainwash females into wanting to go there.

Our Target is in a rough part of town. People are regularly mugged and murdered in the area. My city is garbage. I know this, and just try to be aware of my surroundings.

I'm parked in my car and an older guy parks behind me. I get out of my car and he yells, "Good afternoon ma'am" I say ,"Good afternoon" and lock my car. He calls out, "Excuse me maam, can you come over to my car and help me with something? I need help."
I say, "No sir, I cannot. I apologize" and I walk quickly into the store.
He follows me.
So I stand around the cafe for a minute where the security desk is, and he doesn't come in. He's chilling in the parking lot. I make a note that I'll need to ask for a security escort back to my car, then begin my shopping.
I look at Star Wars sweaters, get a ton of Christmas candy to eat now and not on Christmas, and then meander into the makeup aisles to try to find some lipstick.

This motherfucker walks up to me on the lipstick aisle!

"Ma'am, you'd better help me out"

At this point, I am pissed off.

"You better back up away from my cart and gtfo away from me or you will NEED help old man"

He walks off.

I hate people.

Tl;dr?

They have these poodles at Target that look like penises to me.

[generalwinter]

People are weird sometimes. My guess is some sort of underlying mental impairment not quite bad enough to require confinement.

[DrSevenSeizeMD]

At 11/13/17 06:17 PM, generalwinter wrote: People are weird sometimes. My guess is some sort of underlying mental impairment not quite bad enough to require confinement.

I tried to be polite at first, in case.

[Heretic-Anchorite]

Do you carry a taser or pepper spray at all?

If not you should. If not the use, the threat of being too hard of a target can make a difference. You may also want to consider conceal carry.

when I shop I either go in the middle of the day where too many people are around, or at like 2-3 am when absolutely nobody is around and it is easy to avoid people.

Good thing he was stopped/went away before he did anything. Where you careful to see if you where followed or not? It sound nuts, but you don't know how f*ed up someone can be.

[DrSevenSeizeMD]

At 11/13/17 06:21 PM, Heretic-Anchorite wrote: Do you carry a taser or pepper spray at all?

I don't, I keep saying I am going to get some, then don't.
And you're right, I need to!

Good thing he was stopped/went away before he did anything. Where you careful to see if you where followed or not? It sound nuts, but you don't know how f*ed up someone can be.

I was. No follow home, and luckily I live a good distance away.

[DrSevenSeizeMD]

At 11/13/17 06:32 PM, Zymbot wrote: He lives life by the James Bond principal.

Apparently!

[DrSevenSeizeMD]

At 11/13/17 07:14 PM, JosephStarr wrote: If you can pass a background check, I'd say carry a gun. Make sure to practice with it for atleast a couple hours. (Alot of gun stores have indoor ranges.) Don't be worried about trying multiple guns out at the range, it's important to find one that you're able to handle effectively.

(or at the very least buy some bear mace or an extendable baton or something.)

I can pass a background check, and I am pretty good with a rifle.

I would need practice with a handgun yes.

[TTRASHH]

Fuck mace. Carry around a lighter + a can of alcohol disinfectant spray.

Cleanse the targets of creepzoids with fire

[Oddlem]

Sounds like he wanted to throw you in his car, holy.
Even if he had no bad intentions, the way he went about it was fishy af. Especially since he just sat in the parking lot and clearly wasn't struggling with anything. o:

It would have been interesting if you tried to creepily stare him down... but then again, if he's following you around a store it probably wouldn't have worked.

Also if worse ever comes to worse, you could always use your keys as a weapon of sorts. But yeah, get pepperspray asap if you can. x:

[DrSevenSeizeMD]

At 11/14/17 12:42 AM, NuclearWorm wrote: Fuck mace. Carry around a lighter + a can of alcohol disinfectant spray.

Cleanse the targets of creepzoids with fire

Hi my friend!!!!!

Yeah that's what his ass needed....

[DrSevenSeizeMD]

At 11/14/17 01:05 AM, MPPlantOfficial wrote: Practice? We all know the MAIN reason for a people to own guns is so they can take selfies with the gun cocked to their heads while making this annoying provocative face...

Do I really need to practice anyway? I play a ton of Fallout.

At 11/14/17 02:03 AM, Oddlem wrote: Sounds like he wanted to throw you in his car, holy.
Even if he had no bad intentions, the way he went about it was fishy af. Especially since he just sat in the parking lot and clearly wasn't struggling with anything. o:

Yeah. Self defense 101 is don't let them get you into their car.

It would have been interesting if you tried to creepily stare him down... but then again, if he's following you around a store it probably wouldn't have worked.

Oh when he came up to me in the store, it was on.
Hell no.

Also if worse ever comes to worse, you could always use your keys as a weapon of sorts. But yeah, get pepperspray asap if you can. x:

I aint afraid of kicking, screaming, making a scene either

[5ERGEI]

cool story, bro.

[DrSevenSeizeMD]

At 11/14/17 02:50 AM, Raab wrote: cool story, bro.

I feel like the giant penis was the most important part.

[DamnedByFate]

Next time you meet that motherfucker, tell him you know a guy called DamnedByFate whose sword has not been bloodied for far too long.

[MuramasasEdge]

alien peniz and nutsackz...

[DrSevenSeizeMD]

At 11/14/17 10:39 AM, DamnedByFate wrote: Next time you meet that motherfucker, tell him you know a guy called DamnedByFate whose sword has not been bloodied for far too long.

What if you just start coming to Target with me? They have these awesome pretzels. And ICEEs. I'll feed you, you protect me.

At 11/14/17 10:51 AM, MuramasasEdge wrote: alien peniz and nutsackz...

I kno rite???

[FUNKbrs]

You should have cut him

Knife in your pocket, maybe a razor box cutter.

The second you heard him come up behind you in the lipstick aisle, you should have reached into your pocket and slashed blindly behind you so he can't see it coming.

It takes a while to feel a cut, so you should have slashed him a few more times for good measure in case the first didn't take.

Then you should have used his dried blood to pigment your cosmetics.

[DrSevenSeizeMD]

At 11/14/17 12:06 PM, FUNKbrs wrote: You should have cut him

Then you should have used his dried blood to pigment your cosmetics.

Which blood would best match my skin tone? You see enough pics of me.

[FUNKbrs]

At 11/14/17 12:10 PM, SevenSeize wrote:

At 11/14/17 12:06 PM, FUNKbrs wrote: You should have cut him

Then you should have used his dried blood to pigment your cosmetics.

Which blood would best match my skin tone? You see enough pics of me.

I'm a sucker for a pale girl with blood red lipstick.

[DrSevenSeizeMD]

At 11/14/17 12:11 PM, Hoodie wrote: Don't delete my post ugh

If you think a thread is a shit thread, then don't bother commenting. Because yes, that will get your posts deleted.

As for the Star Wars sweater, they had a pretty cool R2D2 one, but they wanted too much money for it.

At 11/14/17 12:13 PM, FUNKbrs wrote:

At 11/14/17 12:10 PM, SevenSeize wrote: At 11/14/17 12:06 PM, FUNKbrs
Which blood would best match my skin tone? You see enough pics of me.

I'm a sucker for a pale girl with blood red lipstick.

I have 2 shades in my purse at the moment. One is bright red. One is dark red.

I don't do pinks or pastels.

[WaffleCrisp]

I was lured into a van with candy. He had a red lolly pop. It tasted salty though.

[DrSevenSeizeMD]

At 11/14/17 12:42 PM, WaffleCrisp wrote: I was lured into a van with candy. He had a red lolly pop. It tasted salty though.

This man did not have candy. That might have influenced my decision.

[WaffleCrisp]

At 11/14/17 12:46 PM, SevenSeize wrote:

At 11/14/17 12:42 PM, WaffleCrisp wrote: I was lured into a van with candy. He had a red lolly pop. It tasted salty though.

This man did not have candy. That might have influenced my decision.

But goo came out and he said it was icing.

[DrSevenSeizeMD]

At 11/14/17 12:52 PM, WaffleCrisp wrote:

At 11/14/17 12:46 PM, SevenSeize wrote:

At 11/14/17 12:42 PM, WaffleCrisp wrote: I was lured into a van with candy. He had a red lolly pop. It tasted salty though.

This man did not have candy. That might have influenced my decision.

But goo came out and he said it was icing.

Icing shouldn't be salty.

[FUNKbrs]

At 11/14/17 12:10 PM, SevenSeize wrote:

I have 2 shades in my purse at the moment. One is bright red. One is dark red.

I don't do pinks or pastels.

Blood is hard to work with as a pigment because it oxidizes and turns dark. I know with apples you can put lime juice on them to keep them from oxidizing and turning brown.

Did you pour lime juice in the open wounds of the man you made the bright red lipstick from?

[WaffleCrisp]

At 11/14/17 12:55 PM, SevenSeize wrote:

At 11/14/17 12:52 PM, WaffleCrisp wrote:

At 11/14/17 12:46 PM, SevenSeize wrote:

At 11/14/17 12:42 PM, WaffleCrisp wrote: I was lured into a van with candy. He had a red lolly pop. It tasted salty though.

Icing shouldn't be salty.

No wonder.

[DamnedByFate]

At 11/14/17 11:01 AM, SevenSeize wrote: What if you just start coming to Target with me? They have these awesome pretzels. And ICEEs. I'll feed you, you protect me.

Sounds like a deal. Although I should probably note, I might be disappointed by the pretzels.

[VicariousE]

Awful experience, sounds like something out of Silence of the Lambs.

[DrSevenSeizeMD]

At 11/14/17 01:14 PM, DamnedByFate wrote: Sounds like a deal. Although I should probably note, I might be disappointed by the pretzels.

They have a Starbucks in there too, if you do coffee.

At 11/14/17 01:19 PM, VicariousE wrote: Awful experience, sounds like something out of Silence of the Lambs.

It's actually happened to me more than once. Dangerous area

[WaffleCrisp]

Are you a size 14?