The game looks like it has the potential to be fun but your first look trailer doesn't do a great job of communicating that.
18 seconds of intros. This might be tolerable if they were big names to get me excited about the game, were visually impressive and had accompanying sound effects etc but as it stands people will be bored before they even see the game.
20 seconds of you painting some white bits on the player character. This might be interesting to game developers but this does nothing to sell people on the merits of your game. If you must show development footage I'd either speed it up or do a separate devlog video.
30 Seconds of story in text form and it's as generic as it gets. This isn't necessarily a problem for the game itself but it does nothing to sell people on the game. If you had a good narrator for this part, some art etc this would be less of an issue but still it's generally better to show than tell.
1:12 before we see any player interaction and it's just a dice role. Most viewers would have left by this point. I like the background but the board could look nicer. I'm sure the full version will look better but remember this is the first thing anyone will see of the game. Why not call the RDSS a dice and skip the need for a lengthy explanation? I'd already got bored with the music by this point too.
1:25 I really like the artwork and choice mechanic. You could probably hook people in if this was in the first 20 seconds! The transitions are really nice too!
The game looks like it could be a perfectly adequate $5 Android game but your trailer is too long winded. I know you worked hard on it but sometimes less is more. Cut the fluff and show more gameplay/artwork/music.
Your Gofundme could do with a lot of work too.
In the why should you give section you just make yourself sound like a charity case. We're a small business, we need money, we're hungry, we need to work! This sort of thing should be secondary to telling the customer what they are going to get. What is your vision? What are they going to get from your game(s) by donating?
Also you mention having won multiple awards, what are they? If you don't link them people might assume you're lying.
I'm really not saying any of this to attack you or bring you down, quite the opposite. The game itself looks perfectly sellable and with an improved trailer and better gofundme you might be able to make it a good little earner for you.
