The Roast of Mario

[supabamman]

Hello Newgrounds members. My name is supabamman and I recently have been trying to write a script for a flash I have been wanting to do for a while. What I have been wanting to do is a Comedy Central style Roast of Mario from Super Mario Bros. and I have been looking for someone to help write it with me. I did intend this to be a very M-Rated flash so don't be afraid to get...inappropriate if that is your style. I would actually rather hope for something kinda rude and vulger. I have some of the script done so you can see where I am going with it.

The Roast Of Mario
(The event opens with a list of the roasters including, Peach, Toad, Donkey Kong, Bowser, Wario, Link, Zelda, and special guest, Luigi. All sitting next to Mario with Mario sitting in a large “throne” in the center.)
Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome your Roastmaster for this evening….(There is a long drum role with lights blinking around the stage.) Sonic the Hedgehog!
Sonic: (Speeding on stage) Thank you everybody! It is great to have the whole Mario Party Gang here, and Toad. (Everyone laughs except Toad who is awkwardly chuckling.) But seriously this night we are here to celebrate one of Video Games most iconic characters, a character that has been with gamers for over 40 years. Whether it be saving Princess Peach, or saving Peach, or saving, well, peach, or going to the Olympics, twice! We have all been amazed at where he has gone. Ladies and gentlemen, the man of the hour, Mario Mario!
(The crowd gives a large round of applause as the lights shine on Mario as he smiles and waves.)
Sonic: Yes, Mario. Created by the Japanese, speaks English, acts Italian, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew. Mario you are like the melting pot of racist video game characters. But lets get on with the roast. Ladies and gentlemen, our first roaster of the evening, Princess Peach!

Of course this is just the rough draft but I think that this gives a good idea of what I am going for. I will also need some help animating and voice acting, although I myself to plan on providing some of the voice work, maybe for Mario and Toad, but other then that I hope that it will be a group effort.

So if any of this seems like something you would like to be apart of just message me with some jokes and info and I will get back to you ASAP.

Thank you, supabamman

[OmarShehata]

Reminds me of this, might be nice for some inspiration!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tPUgZlN6cdA

[supabamman]

At 3/29/14 01:40 AM, 4urentertainment wrote: Reminds me of this, might be nice for some inspiration!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tPUgZlN6cdA

Yeah! I remember having this idea for a mario roast in high school like a few months before that came out. I was worried people might think I was copying it but I honestly just wanted to do my own thing.

[WrightOnTarget]

No Jeff Ross, I don't care.

Also, there's not one real or original joke in what you've given us, just that opening stinkbomb. "Created by the Japanese"? When you have a character acknowledge they're not real, you just lose all connection and reality, if you don't know what you're doing. Why wouldn't sonic make a crack about "Hey, Mario, you ever consider maybe Peach is just fucking Bowser and can't bring herself to tell you?", especially since he brings peach right out? Roasts are all about busting balls and you don't bust balls by saying corny shit like "Created by the japanese" and acknowledging that none of this is real. Because real comedy is all about real. I mean, Jesus, if I were in that universe, and I was there, the first thing I'd say after Sonic said they were all video game characters would either be "BOO!" or I'd have an existential crisis and it'd just ruin the night. You gotta look at your characters as if they were real people. Believe me, it sounds a little Chris Chan, but if you don't believe in your characters, the audience isn't gonna connect or relate, and that's what comedy is about. Peach should probably open, by the way, introduce Sonic, and then he says something like the fucking bowser thing, maybe something like "You know, if he were really that bright, he'd realize you're just sleeping around with bowser; but what do you expect from a guy who is constantly on shrooms?". That insults Mario, but it's really a joke on peach, which is what I understand roasts are more formatted as. I don't watch roasts, I listen to actual comedy, actual comedians just riffing and busting balls. It's great, it's the only reason to listen to radio, to be honest. Listen to a couple of Ronnie B's (Ron Bennington) Unmasked series on youtube, it gives a whole lot of insight into comedy. I think Patrice O Neal did one, that has to be insightful if it exists.

So, yeah, you have peach introduce sonic, sonic makes a crack on peach's infidelity, masterchief interjects and calls him a 'mo for constantly being around tails, sonic cracks back with a virtual girlfriend joke, Kratos brings up his killing his wife and child. You can either have him make a joke about it, like "my family was so annoying I had to kill them", or something, you know the hacky standard, or be daring and have it fall completely flat, and make it uncomfortable. Then you have Luigi come out and say something about him being fat, maybe make that fall flat and fail, playing into luigi's uselessness stereotype. You play kirby like Ralphie May, loud and obnoxious, laughing way too enthusiastically.