At 10/11/14 10:54 AM, Slacker013 wrote: I wish for some sort of outer space fortress like the Death Star with out a flawed ventilation port that would lead to my demise...

Granted, but it's still located in a far away galaxy that you'll never reach.

I still wish furries weren't a thing.

At 10/14/14 11:17 AM, SentForMe wrote:
I wish I could change the color and texture of my skin, like a cuttlefish.

Granted. You have become a man sized cuttlefish, right there where you are. I sincerely hope you have enough energy to get to tropical or temperate ocean waters.

I wish to make it big.

At 10/14/14 01:51 PM, Phobotech wrote: I wish to make it big.

Wish granted. You hit the big time.

However, the cost was your dignity.

I wish for hammers to come out of my water faucet. THOUSANDS of them.

At 10/14/14 08:18 PM, YomToxic wrote:

I wish for hammers to come out of my water faucet. THOUSANDS of them.

Granted. your faucet leaks and keeps dripping hammers all night. Your hammer bill is gonna be high this month.

I wish college was the way movies led me to believe it would be.

At 10/14/14 11:08 PM, SentForMe wrote:

I wish the present was actually as it was portrayed to be in famous scifi books.

Granted. It is the timeline of most cold war era sci fis in where all of the human race is wiped out by the futuristic year of 1994. Nothing has improved since then.

I wish space colonies were commonly practiced technologies.

At 10/15/14 02:13 AM, Phobotech wrote:

At 10/14/14 11:08 PM, SentForMe wrote:

I wish the present was actually as it was portrayed to be in famous scifi books.

Granted. It is the timeline of most cold war era sci fis in where all of the human race is wiped out by the futuristic year of 1994. Nothing has improved since then.

I wish space colonies were commonly practiced technologies.

Granted, and they shoot you up there against your will.

I wish for my former teacher's son to be the first man on Mars. (That guy has already been in space, I shit you not)

At 10/15/14 01:08 PM, AquaWatermelons wrote: I wish for gold.

Granted, you are now King Midas.

I wish you fuckers hadn't skipped me.

At 10/17/14 05:37 PM, DarkBowser007 wrote: I wish for...an idea for something to wish for.

You wish for something terrible that you immediately regret.

I wish for Reeses Cups.

At 10/17/14 06:01 PM, Ranger2 wrote:

At 10/17/14 05:37 PM, DarkBowser007 wrote: I wish for...an idea for something to wish for.

You wish for something terrible that you immediately regret.

I wish for Reeses Cups.

Granted, you find them inside your butt.

I wish for my former teacher's son, who actually is an astronaut, to be the first man on Mars.

At 10/18/14 10:28 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish for my former teacher's son, who actually is an astronaut, to be the first man on Mars.

Granted, but he's teleported without a space suit and dies.

I wish I had my own house to live in.

At 10/18/14 01:47 PM, Ericho wrote:
I wish I had my own house to live in.

Granted. The bills, taxes, and other expenditures necessary to maintain legal ownership of the house is outrageous. The home-owner's association is constantly breathing down your neck to adhere to their strict cosmetic appearances, even threatening fines for bullshit thats concealed away in your back yard...as if they had to be snooping around ON your property to even notice the transgression.

Everything is falling apart, you're up to your eyeballs with problems, from water damage to previous owner damage, malfunctioning electrical AND plumbing equipment, infestations, molds, and doors that can't shut or open smoothly because the foundation has been shit for years. You're so broke all the time that you barely have the time or money to address all of these issues that are stacking up and getting worse the longer you put them off. You can't even sleep at night because there are four things that could happen at any moment over the night that could legitimately destroy the house, and you'd need to be alert in order to escape alive (fire hazards, mostly). You're evicted and become homeless before the end of the year.

I wish that I had the perfect house payed off in my name.

At 10/18/14 04:44 PM, Phobotech wrote: I wish that I had the perfect house payed off in my name.

Granted, it's standing in the middle of nowhere far away from civilization.

I wish for a cabin in the woods.

At 10/19/14 09:49 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish for a cabin in the woods.

Granted, but it turns out to be THAT cabin in the woods.

I wish my lips never chapped.

At 10/19/14 11:18 AM, SentForMe wrote:

At 10/19/14 10:44 AM, Ericho wrote:

At 10/19/14 09:49 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish for a cabin in the woods.

Granted, but it turns out to be THAT cabin in the woods.

I wish my lips never chapped.

Granted, you have no more lips. Problem solved.

I wish that I could see perfectly well at all light levels.

Granted. Because of this, you can't sleep any more, as you never know when it's dark, and so eventually you go insane.

I wish I could tie a tie.

At 10/19/14 12:38 PM, fieldertiger wrote:

At 10/19/14 12:30 PM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish I could tie a tie.

Granted. You can now tie anything that requires you to tie.

I meant the tie you wear with a suit, but whatever.

I wish people can like me more on Newgrounds.

Granted. They can like you more, but they choose not to.

I wish I hadn't eaten so much today.

At 10/19/14 12:49 PM, fieldertiger wrote: I wish I was more reasonable so that I won't get any enemies.

Granted, but people will always find some way to attack you. It sucks, but such is life.

I wish people were less shit.

At 10/19/14 12:58 PM, fieldertiger wrote: Are you serious? So, I'm one of the only people on Newgrounds who is just going to be attacked every day by members that say negative stuff all the time? All I wanted to do is to socialize here on Newgrounds. Is there anything else that you can ask for?

Everyone of us gets shit from someone else all the time. Just try to make the best of it. Whining sure as fuck won't get you anywhere. Just some personal advice.

I wish I had a reason why Tom didn't care about telling me why are these people bullying me so much.

Granted, you find out Tom actually has a lot of stuff to do, like running this place and making a living for himself and his family.

I wish @TomFulp actually posted in this thread.

At 10/19/14 01:06 PM, fieldertiger wrote: Even without evidence, you can just make out that I'm just a whiner on Newgrounds.

There's enough evidence in this thread of you being a whiner. Believe me, I know what it's like to be in your position. You just have to force yourself not to care. Once the assholes realize they're talking to a brick wall, they'll give up.

I wish I can get more advice here on Newgrounds since everyone corrects me all the time.

Granted. The first piece of advice is this: When you corrupt a wish, you construct an outcome that no one would wish for.

I wish you'd take this advice.

At 10/19/14 01:18 PM, fieldertiger wrote:

At 10/19/14 01:15 PM, NewgroundsMike wrote: There's enough evidence in this thread of you being a whiner. Believe me, I know what it's like to be in your position. You just have to force yourself not to care. Once the assholes realize they're talking to a brick wall, they'll give up.

So the people that attacked me would one day give up? I wish it was soon.

Granted. The first piece of advice is this: When you corrupt a wish, you construct an outcome that no one would wish for.

I wish you'd take this advice.

Granted. I take the advice as it makes sense.

You still kind of didn't really corrupt my wish...

I wish I was more happy.

Granted, now everyone hates you because you're happy.

I wish I could have attended Woodstock.

At 10/19/14 01:23 PM, NewgroundsMike wrote:
I wish I could have attended Woodstock.

Granted, you invent a time machine and set it to 1969, except you don't know you in fact set it to 1969 B.C

I wish FT would learn how to corrupt wishes.

At 10/19/14 01:27 PM, ChazDude wrote:

At 10/19/14 01:23 PM, NewgroundsMike wrote:
I wish I could have attended Woodstock.

Granted, you invent a time machine and set it to 1969, except you don't know you in fact set it to 1969 B.C

I wish FT would learn how to corrupt wishes.

Granted, and he turns out just like me, killing everyone in his corruptions.

I wish for nachos.

At 10/19/14 01:32 PM, NewgroundsMike wrote:

At 10/19/14 01:27 PM, ChazDude wrote:

At 10/19/14 01:23 PM, NewgroundsMike wrote:
I wish I could have attended Woodstock.

Granted, you invent a time machine and set it to 1969, except you don't know you in fact set it to 1969 B.C

I wish FT would learn how to corrupt wishes.

Granted, and he turns out just like me, killing everyone in his corruptions.

I wish for nachos.

Granted. They were poisonous; Now you're dead!

I wish to construct infinite pylons.

At 10/20/14 12:17 AM, SentForMe wrote:
I wish I could create real, new animals with my mind.

Congratulations!

I wish for something i will regret.

At 10/20/14 12:27 AM, Goobleboo wrote:

At 10/20/14 12:17 AM, SentForMe wrote:
I wish I could create real, new animals with my mind.

Congratulations!

I wish for something i will regret.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AAj4_1PLLL0 Granted, at first being fused into this atrocity seems like something you would regret but you wind up loving it.

I wish I could suck my own dick

At 10/20/14 12:28 AM, CresIsis wrote:
I wish I could suck my own dick

I'm jellyous.

I wish for a hat.

At 10/20/14 12:38 AM, Goobleboo wrote:

At 10/20/14 12:28 AM, CresIsis wrote:
I wish I could suck my own dick

I'm jellyous.

I wish for a hat.

Granted, it's a fedora.

I wish for a top hat.

At 10/20/14 01:15 PM, NewgroundsMike wrote:

At 10/20/14 12:38 AM, Goobleboo wrote:

At 10/20/14 12:28 AM, CresIsis wrote:
I wish I could suck my own dick

I'm jellyous.

I wish for a hat.

Granted, it's a fedora.

I wish for a top hat.

granted,its super glued on your head

i wish for a giant chicken costume

At 10/20/14 02:04 PM, kazumazkan wrote:
i wish for a giant chicken costume

Granted. As soon as you put it on, the costume then powers on and slams your face into a wall for 1 full hour.

I wish for every noun to be converted into a verb (and vice versa)

At 10/21/14 12:24 AM, SentForMe wrote: I wish I controlled the sugar supply like De Beers controls diamonds.

Granted but you die from diabetes two years after you take over control.

I wish I was in Dixie, hooray, hooray!

At 10/21/14 01:19 AM, SubliminalVirus wrote: I wish for my basement to be fill with nuns and milk.

Your wish is my command. The nuns are sweet and kind and play nothing but jesus music. The milk is slightly fermented camel's milk and tastes a bit like armpit sweat.

I wish I was the best heavy metal guitarist the world has ever known.