Finish my organic chemistry lab; walk to dorm; smoke a bong in bathroom; start pregaming with one of my good friends because this Thursday these two houses always throw down.
Walk around with my friend and the first party sucks. We sneak into a nearby house party and it also sucks. We smoke a splif in the backyard when five hot freshman walk into the house. We wait, look at each other, and walk downstairs.
Whilst drinking more beer, I introduce myself to, who I thought was, the hottest girl. Without a response she wraps her hand around the back of my neck and starts grinding on me like a 50 Cent video.
Not being a dancer, I just stand there like a retard and admire the hot butt being stuffed in my face.
Finally she turns around and, stomach to stomach, tells me I'm a good dancer (lolwutok). I introduce myself and ask what her major is. She says nursing and I'm like oh cool and, before I can respond, my whole body feels like it's on fire from being high and just how attracted I am to the girl.
She's like, "Are you okay?" I'm like holy shit - I feel like I'm going to puke but I resist the temptation to submit. My head feels like a black could has infested it and is swirling around and when I can see through the cloud I see blurry reality.
I decide to get fresh air and she's like, "Where are you going?" To which I respond, "Upstairs wanna get fresh air?"
She agrees and we walk up and I'm still freaking out because I'm a total fag and troll the internet and never hook up with girls and I'm high but anyway before I know it we're hooking up hardcore outside. My friend was like, "How did you do that?" but the honest truth is I don't know.
We started walking away from the house and talking to each other about Pokemon and she was cracking up for some reason when before I knew it we're at her dorm (like 2 blocks away). We walk in and she leads me to her bed (my incapacitating fear has somewhat gone away at this point), and I take my shirt off.
She practically jumps on me and, in conclusion - I fucked her - while high as fuck. Hence the title. I feel accomplished.
FEAL JEALOUS NEWGROUNDS. FEEL IT.