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The adventures of Brown Bear

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The adventures of Brown Bear 2010-04-14 18:51:15


I was asked to tell a story, so off the top of my head, this is what I produced...
(Remember, it was off the top of my head in a few minutes, so bad grammar and all, generally a bad piece of writing, kinda)
Enjoy.

Once upon a time..
*there was a red squirrel
one day he got bored of collecting nuts so he thought hed go for a walk around his local neighbour hood
little did he know, he was about to confront the height of his life, quite literally
meanwhile, a brown bear stalks an old geezer back to his appartment, why? Because he smells of cat food, and brown bear likes catfood
The old geezer silently opens his appartment door because, obviously, hes a ninja, a rather shitty one though
brown bear is a much better ninja and was able to follow the old geezer back to his appartment in style without being caught
brown bear hid behind the old geezers couch for several hours while the old geezer watched the most hardcore of hardcore doggie style pornos, sitting in a ninja position, almost crouch like
the brown bear was confused yet somehow delighted to known how on earth this guy could pleasure himself while sitting in this immensely uncomfortable position
brown bear tried to mimic the old geezers amazing feat, but failed and rolled onto his back like a turtle
this alert the old geezer who quickly stood up and without hesitation revealed his manly possessions in an enjoyable manner
brown bear was confused to why the old geezer was looking at him with such a Gimp, perverted face
turns out the old geezer was a first class rapest and was not sitting in the most awesome of positions, but practising deadly rape positions
the old geezer pounced onto brown bear like there was no tomorrow and shoved his...
ear into brown bears nose
brown bear felt a little tingle down his chest, he panicked, not that he wasnt before, but even more so now
he had gotten the deadly virus, squaids
the random tingle in your chest is always the sign of squaids
brown bear just let the old geezer get on with his mishaps and decided to enjoy it while it lasted, even if he did he the most deadly virus known to man
after the onslaught of pain, embarrassment, and yet plesure, brown bear shoved his prized 12 inch gold winner trophee into the spine of the old geezer, stunning him instantly
the old geezer was dead
brown bear wanted to find out how on earth the old geezer had gotten squaids in the first place, so he decided to track down the sauce/source
he knew it was a squirrel, it had to be.
brown bear sprinted to the nearest internet cafe so that he could access the international squirrel id database
he search for the list of top squaids offender squirrels, jack malowie was at the top, an ordinary squirrel nevertheless
brown bear looked for jacks address, and found it it 42 bobby street
that night, brown bear walked to jacks house and found him in the act of opening his front door, he must have just gotten home for work, or in fact, a walk?
brown bear growned the sexiest of sex calls in order to gain the attention of Mr Jack Malowie
Jack zoomed 180 degrees around and gave brown bear a tremendously evil grin
the fighteded all night since a bear giving a squirrel a sex call was one of the most insulting things, ever
it was 0700 o clock atop the empire state building where brown bear and jack are still fighting to the death
jack hoped for a different life, so he had gotten it, for a few hours he had achieved something but opening peanuts and raping dudes, not women
brown bear erected himself quickly by swiping out one of his most adored pornos
he instantly shove his ham and eggs in the spinal chord of jack, stunning him, once again, instantly
jack fell off the empire state building to his death
brown bear took the oportunity of freedom atop the empire state building to take pictures of himself and post on the internet to gain internet fame
bear became rich and endored a very happy life
until, he died of squaids nov 22nd 2012
The end.

Kadoosh.


"Imagination is more important than knowledge." --Albert Einstein

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Response to The adventures of Brown Bear 2010-04-14 19:45:16


WATCH ZEE TENSES!!! ZEE TENSES! FALLACY! A&~A, something can't be happening and not happening at the same time! look closely at your first three lines, laddy!

Otherwise, it was a nice little tale.


Political Science: A haughty soap opera. Philosophy: A cold, mind-fucking bitch.

I love them both

"Manuscripts don't burn"- Mikhail Bulgakov

Response to The adventures of Brown Bear 2010-04-15 07:12:23


At 4/14/10 07:45 PM, Wolf-Raven wrote: WATCH ZEE TENSES!!! ZEE TENSES! FALLACY! A&~A, something can't be happening and not happening at the same time! look closely at your first three lines, laddy!

Otherwise, it was a nice little tale.

Huh? Lol


"Imagination is more important than knowledge." --Albert Einstein

www.theoutsiders.org.uk < Main

forum.theoutsiders.org.uk <Forums

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