As I become more comfortable with messing around with music sounds and combining instruments without making a mess of sound, it's become harder to imagine myself doing it. Creating is such a flow of emotion and ideas that are quickly tested and thrown away.
This song, for example is me trying to make something darker in tone with a cathedral-esq, "blood for the blood god" kinda feel but without the violence. More just the aftermath of such an event and while it was a noble attempt; it became more of a... this.
It's weird. Before, during and after working on a project, I am different types of myself. I don't change in personality or anything fancy like that but my look on myself as a person changes. Before I start, I look at myself in the 3rd person; saying things like "I could probably do that but I gotta tell myself to keep it simple". Often as if I'm talking about a future version of myself. Sometimes it's as if I think that I couldn't do it and I stop to wonder how the later version of me will have it done; but then it's done. I hate to admit it but I amaze myself in some of these cases. Not because the work is amazing but I'm surprised that this; however crappy it might be, came from me. As a child, making stuff for video games was my dream and however unattached this is, I still have the feeling buried deep inside me but don't worry; I often find myself on the other side of amazement as well so humility's whip is crackling loudly above my head and the fear won't stop until I stop breathing.
Also, thank you for listening to the song! I don't often write that as I imagine you have your own motive for listening but know that it's appreciated. Feedback is also appreciated if you have some! Thank you.