For such a dire and urgent concept the music you provide is awfully relaxed. I think it would be beneficial to you if you added some tension into the piece. My suggestion for a starting point is to adjust the speed so it's faster, even if you change nothing else.

Also, on a technical level, your mix is a bit on the quiet side. You may want to increase the volume, either by normalizing or using compression/limiting or both. Right now, I have to raise the volume for this piece and lower it when I finish listening to it. That's inconvenient to the listener.

I hope you find this helpful. :)

More info about how I review music here: https://codefreq.newgrounds.com/news/post/1089806