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Rosemary Dreams

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My NGADM submission for round 1

Lyrics

Girls love boys when they're lonely
Boys love girls when they're horny
Boys love girls when they're pretty
Girls love boys when they're filthy

You can try to justify the way the world works now
Tell me all you know about unconditional love
People with beauty and wealth rule the world
You can try to fight it diet do whatever you can't hide it
Fantasy lies where your reality dies
You can live a life or just keep filling it with lies
Whatever you are going through we've all been there before ou
And we know there's no way out... SHUT UP

I don't care who you are
I don't care what you do
We're both the same
You know it too

I don't care who you are
I don't care what you do
We're both insane
You know it too

Then why
Why must I die
For you to survive

Why Must I die
For you to survive
Why must I die
For you to survive

The sytem's not broken
It was just never meant to be fixed

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I like the cute synths at the beginning. The kick is a little on the heavy, and the panning/delay effects on the vocals threw me off a bit. I like the content of the lyrics themselves, though, and the more transparent vocal content at :32 worked better for me. That said, I didn’t like how the vocals at :32 sounded so distorted in the mix. The clipping/distortion there is quite noticeable, and the “shut up” at the end of that phrase came across as a bit cheesy. I like the solo/post-chorus at 1:05, and the progression from there is also pretty enjoyable. The pitch-shifted vocals at 2:23 also came across as pretty cheesy. I think you tried to do a little too much with some of the mixing effects here, but the clipping/distortion is the major mixing issue here that remains unaddressed. There are a lot of good compositional ideas here, and the sound design is okay, but the production quality is what’s really holding the piece back in my mind. Getting more creative with the automations or filtering could really help “shut up” get the punchiness and impact that it deserves, and the other ornamental vocals could be relegated to a more atmospheric/coloration effect. The lead vocals need some volume control measures right away - try lowering the volume knob in the mixer track and then filling out the rest of the space with a little reverb or compression. You also might try turning down the gain on the compressors you already have in there, especially on the vocals. Sorry if this isn’t a very positive review overall. The peaking/clipping problems are easily fixable, and you’re clearly a talented vocalist and composer. Keep at it, Jackbliss! :)

Mixing, mastering, and balance
.5/2
Structure, transitions, phrasing, and variety
1.25/1.5
Melody, tonality, harmony, and texture
1.75/2
Instrumentation and sound design
.5/1
Emotion, atmosphere, and catchiness
1.25/1.5
Originality and uniqueness
.5/1
Overall (how do the elements above interact?)
.25/1
Composite score
6/10

jackbliss responds:

Thanks so much for the detailed review. This really helps me produce better music quality. Cheers! :)

Jack knocks it out of the park again!

jackbliss responds:

Hey thank you so much! Love your username btw :)

Credits & Info

jackbliss
Author

Listens
237
Downloads
5
Score
Waiting for 1 more vote

Uploaded
Aug 11, 2019
2:47 PM EDT
Genre
Techno
File Info
Song
3.5 MB
2 min 59 sec
Tags

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