I like the ominous mood at the beginning. The pads there sound a bit thin and generic, though. Some more complex layering and/or the addition of more oscillators might help them sound fuller and richer. There's a bit of atonality in the texture starting at :26, and it's hard to pin down the harmonic center of this piece for a while. Once again, the mixing here is really good, but the drums are also pretty generic. I appreciate the creative work with the toms/bongos at :58, but it seemed a bit out-of-character for the piece. The harmonic framework is pretty dissonant overall, and once again there isn't a lot of variety in the chord progression or melodic content. I'd suggest this: try making a piece that uses only 5 different notes (for example, C, D, E, G, and A, in any octave). That way, the harmonies will be restrictive enough that you can focus more on developing strong melodies and variety in your composition. My favorite part of the piece is 3:25, which feels like a harmonically stable bridge. The dissonance comes back at 4:22, but overall there are a lot of good ideas here. I think you just tried to do a little too much with this one, and it came across as a bit too experimental. Still, the 5-note idea should help you focus on the composition for next time. Feel free to PM me again when you've written it! ^^