Love the late 80's flow!
FRONT PAGE EDIT: Woah! Beyond stoked about being featured on the front page. I guess that's a signal to me to do more and do better! I'm cooking up something for y'all soon. More rap, and an ambitious expanse in scope.
I welcome constructive feedback, there's always a way to grow and be better. Thanks for the support!
Be sure to check out my buddy Sinitech, he left a review down there and he's been doing great things. Him and I are aiming to collab soon!
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This was made for fun with no intention of monetization of any kind.
For context, go here: https://www.newgrounds.com/bbs/topic/1441650
Lyrics:
Welcome to the full course meal of my rap thread
Satisfying to see that I got in your head
Seems like you wrote a letter of acceptance
Final stage of grief, chief, it all makes sense.
Picked up the rhythm, gonna fly discrete
Orbit some circles above your defeat
Watching you fumble, it has been a treat
I'll swoop down to study you and pick off the meat
Buzzards fly overhead wanting to bite the thread
Gonna wait for me to claim my kill instead
Step by step, you hear my talons scrape
Your wings are clipped, and it seems you can't escape.
You're a small bird dying on a road- you gasp
Visions in your mind aflash with clouds and grass
In your final moments while your life evades your grasp
See the vision of my figure looming over you I clasp
Your throat, this isn't a joke, ya spoke
Bankbroke about killing me and murder, folks,
Calling Doctor Frankenfurter
The true creature of the night is further
Built for lyrical murder
This bird's state-of-the-art, I'm off the charts
Cyberfied Phobotech with new parts
Red eye analyze everything to scrutinize
Like your doctor ass slap line and ostracize.
Named after Phobos, the God of Fear
I shun homophobes and Defend the Queer
But none of that is there or here or near
I just have one thing to make clear
The difference of opinions is fine to clarify
But I pine to decry that hip hop will never die.
You walked a fine line that I thought was refined
A couple of burns that aged like a fine wine
But you "shat your last give" and you feel your throat gripped
Metallic wings unfurl, watch the sun eclipsed
Swallowing blackness your vision starts to tunnel
My talons puncture skin and your blood starts to funnel
Thought yourself a predator but prey was your role
We know now for whom the bells toll.
Sample used: Citizen Kane - Elements of Mind Instrumental
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=izhpeCqh6zI
Love the late 80's flow!
You have basically the perfect voice to be a rapper, to be honest. The way you rap kind of sounds like a really mellow late '80s, early '90s flow. That's definitely not a bad thing and I don't presume to know if that was intentional or not, but just to pad my review, if you wanted to make it sound more modern and/or natural, try to rap as if you're just talking. That's easier said than done, obviously, but instead of thinking "I better make sure to hit every syllable on the kick or snare" just know where you want the punchline to land and rap your way there. You're already hitting that laid back intonation and you clearly know how to stay on beat so you will just sort of naturally stay in rhythm. A little "filler" goes a long way in that regard.
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