XGX been feelin' low, past trickled back into the present.

Here are the samples he sent me, been sittin' on them.

As usual gonna keep unedited, you understand how these things go.

Don't know if these lyrics are right but I don't think he was in his right mind when he sent me this.

172
I have been losing the sight of my life for a while now
I don't know which way to look to
Not because of you

I suppose I know one day I would find myself
Faced against myself

173

I set upon myself for a time now
For a time now
I don't know where I go at night

I wonder why while I have no longer fear in my lungs
I only fear only myself and my words
Will I ever when I open my mouth at times

My dearest son, where are you now
I've been watching clouds around your eyes,
Watch them form into tornadoes that take you farther than a mind should ever have been
Without you waiting

Would you ever know why I say the things I say
Would You ever find the words I say,
For what they are?

174

The words I say now, don't matter much at all
To a part of my past

I swear I don't know why
I don't why it takes so much

If we only opened our mouths and let our mouth flow
Would we ever know why
And I have been livin' under every part of myself
I don't know where to go anymore.
Trying to decipher you.
I swear I don't know why I hide my eyes at night

Will I ever be enough to you.
I had myself in my shame in my shoulder blade
So I never have to admit who I am to you

If I could ever know why
I feel fear.

If you want to find
A part of my shoulders

Aching from every word
I never said to you

All I ever want to know if why I hide
It doesn't matter much at all any more
I want to know that there is a callous behind every word in my throat

That when I try to speak I'm not choking on my past anymore

I'm looking into the brightness in the future
But the future doesn't always know which way
Is up or down
I feel up or down sometimes
And I don't know how to find myself.

175

I only think of you now
I don't know what else to do
If I feel fear
In my mind
Slowly going away
How am I suppose to find you anywhere else
At all

If I have to
Be perfect
In every word
How would I ever know
Any part of who I am

I don’t your fame
Your fortune
Your greed
Your loss of control

You don't wanna admit
That there isn't thing you can do on this earth
Be a fucking
Just be a fucking human

Why do you run from yourself
Why do run to find, yourself
In control of everything,
My only son.

Why do you fear now.
I suppose there is no other way for you to live right now
Your logic is falling apart
Like the leaves in fall

The basis of your mind are there
When you call me

If you want to find
yourself
In time words
Only reveal yourself
Time slips away
When you live like life is
Life is but a dream now
And when you fade into your eyes

You only fear me now
Open your eyes now
Open every word
Never contain yourself
Never know

Why do you have to know why
Anything at all
Let the world is falling into disarray
It's all I ever want
It's all I ever need
Just let it all fuckin' burn
Let it all go into the ground

Never try to see me now
Because I am myself
Ever word I write now
Am I ever
To be more for you

If I am ask me WHY
Why should I try and choose to be
Something more for you
Why can't I be myself with you

Why can't I love myself away
Into my past life
Just let me go my own fucking way
And I will find my own mistakes
That don't really matter much anymore
So Why should I fear you at all

I just wanna know why,
I just wanna feel the pressure,
Inside of my lungs
I don't have to grow a fire
I swear to god
I am fucking broken
I don't have enough money in my life
So I don't do anything at all to help me live my life

I have no idea what is there at all
I am working toward something I have never even thought of or dreamed or ever heard of, even still
I am here, and that is all it takes.