Sometimes the lie is just so beautiful you refuse to disbelieve it.

I wrote this before I was deceived by a woman online. She had the voice of a goddess and she played piano like a pop star- but I never did know what she actually looked like. Her appearance shouldn’t have mattered to either of us. It didn’t to me. But when I discovered she had been lying to me… I was hurt. I withdrew. I really ought not to have. I only found out because she came clean to me.

The dead me was so very heartless and unforgiving, though he thought he wasn’t. Now I know I am just as broken as everybody else.

I wrote this the day before I never spoke to her again. As I sat in the aftermath, crying and drinking, I was graced with the thought that perhaps it wasn’t the destination, but the journey. It was a wonderful couple of weeks before it ended. When I had this thought, I added the spoken words “Nice to be in orbit” to the end, because it felt appropriate.

it was nice to be in her field of effect for awhile, whoever she was. I will never forget the way her voice made me feel.

This song was for her. As such it is named after and dedicated to the only name I ever truly knew her by; Autumn.

To Autumn:

If you are reading this, I am so very happy that you are alive and I pray fervently in this moment that you are well. I wish that we could’ve been friends, regardless of who you are or what you look like. Feel free to reach out to me here if you would like to work on music or chat sometime.

live long and prosper 💚