The piano could use some humanizing (you can do that by editing the velocity of the notes), the transition at 00:14 is a bit sudden; some form of riser or reversed cymbal would have been nice. The snare that comes in at 00:33 could definitely be turned up a bit, as it's almost buried immediately after. The leads at 00:44 could be turned down a bit; another thing you could do is turn down the volume of the piano at that point, as the two sounds are somewhat clashing for dominance. Maybe try making the pads in the chorusses a bit more stereo; as it is right now, everything is in the same headspace, which makes it very easy for sounds to clash and drown each other out. Think of that as a live orchestra, where the choir goes on the right, violins in the middle, drums in the back, etc. Everything has its place.

All in all, the idea could use some work, as could the execution. However, considering everything, this isn't half bad at all. Just keep practicing and you'll improve in no-time!