i love the idea but even i'm better at mixing than you (i really suck at mixing)

let's play a game, it's called fix the mix

This is super quiet. Compression will help this.

Ends really abruptly.

Also sounds like a collection of loops. The rest of my review could be summed up in exactly what Manx has already said, compression, side-chaining, automation, etc.

Use Compression to make this louder
Side chain your bass
Learn automation clips
Use automation clips for your drops...
highpass filter is a good place to begin with automation clips
learn how to use an EQ
hmm...

Google these things if it sounds like gibberish, trust me.

Make it longer.

Good job for your first song, keep it up. I'll follow you and check your progress every now and then. 4 stars for u.

This is good man!