You're on the right track! The melody and instruments you picked were really fitting. You didn't put the bends in the melody, which saddened me, but I can live without them.
Overall, the melody seemed way more dominant than it should've been. It's okay to lower the volume here or there to let the other instruments in. The drops didn't feel like they had enough base to be considered drops. They had the background impact sound effect, but it didn't retain that throughout the piece. Overall, you did do pretty well, though. Just keep in mind all of the layering that goes into songs and you'll be fine ;)