Here from r4r
I think you have a good sense of atmosphere, which is really important if you want to pursue making this style of music.
Again, your sense of atmosphere is great
The main melody has a lot of power!
Harmonies usually work with your chords and melody, which is not the easiest thing to pull off
Sound design is generally pretty good, not counting some mixing stuff (I'll get back to that)
Percussion doesn't suck. This is a big problem with a ton of producers on here; one which you don't have. Nice work!
The main thing is definitely mixing. Bass being too loud at certain points, EQ being wonky, etc. I highly recommend watching YouTube tutorials on how to achieve a good mix, there are loads of great ones. It's just a bunch of little changes that add up and make the track sound immensely better. Practice is key here! You'll naturally get better as you go.
The song is also very repetitive as well. Though this is largely a personal preference thing, it's pretty much always better to add variation in the melodies over the course of the track.
Maybe at the drop, have a big release of tension, like a louder cymbal or a downsweep. Whatever you think sounds best. The cymbal you used I thought didn't have enough energy to effectively break that tension you built.
Use plucks or higher percussive noises! Remember this is just a suggestion, so it's entirely up to you, but I think this track could benefit from higher melodies with a harder attack.
Overall, not bad, but the mixing was a big crutch to the overall enjoyability of the track. You're headed in the right direction though, and you definitely are in a good place musically! PM me if you have any questions. Keep it up!