According to "Comedy Bang Bang!" lore, Maxwell Keeper is a 32-year-old observer and celebrator of time. A normal, non-supernatural guy, he lives in Tallahassee, FL, with his sister Eleanor Longo (née Keeper) and her husband, Desmond Longo. He works in his brother-in-law's watch repair shop and calls people getting their watch repaired every 10 minutes to tell them the time (based on the sun). His catchphrase is "Tick tock!" and he also says, "Hip heap hip hooray," which is a Florida thing. He was born on a Leap Day, meaning there are at least two ways of counting his age.

The Time Keeper dislikes the time 4:20; he has adopted a straight-edge, drug free lifestyle since a group of hillbillies held him down and drew Xs on his hands. 12 minutes is his least favorite amount of time. The reasons for the latter are not yet known - he simply referred to the time period as "a real NBA quarter".

This song is for him.