I like the harmonies at the beginning. The choir sample sounds a little generic, but there's a much bigger problem at :11: this track is peaking...a lot.
Hear the crackling sound? That means the volume of the track was too loud when you exported it, and the result is a form of distortion (called peaking or clipping) that's notorious in the music production realm. You can fix this by turning down the volume on the master channel (or of specific instruments) until the track no longer peaks. How can you tell that a track is peaking? Several ways: if you're recording an instrument, the waveform should look flat and thick at the top, meaning the output signal has maxed out the power it can deliver. Also, many digital audio workstations come with a "peak meter" which monitors peaking, and will turn red whenever this distortion comes up in a playback. I highly recommend that you find out how to access a peak meter in whatever DAW you use, and then listen to your track at least one time through before you upload it, keeping your eyes glued to the peak meter.
So...why don't you fix the peaking problems in this piece and then reupload it? PM me again when you do, and I'll PM you back some more feedback on how to fix what I see as other problems in this piece. Sound good? Awesome!
Looking forward to hearing the cleaner, less distorted results. :)