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Our Nostalgic Days [The Archer Girl Ep.6]

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*Comments/Reviews/Advice much appreciated!*

(The sixth song of 'The Archer Girl', telling stories with the song)

[Specially made for the NGUAC Knock-out Round]

What happened next after the "Ari's First Battle"?

Listen to the previous episode, "Ari's First Battle" here : http://www.newgrounds.com/audio/listen/754359

Listen to the next episode, "Ari's Second Battle" here : http://www.newgrounds.com/audio/listen/757924

"During break time after the first battle, you and Ari walk along the city ruins wearing gas masks. Everything was destroyed and poisoned by the zombies. You walk more and more, looking at the dark clouds above you. There is no sun or sky. There are no people.

"Hey," says Ari, "I recognize this place. This is where I used to lived when I was little."

She starts to turn towards what's left of the playground. A dirty, old, wooden swing still remains. Ari sits on the swing. It's big enough for two people, so you sit with her.

"My dad used to push me on these swings.", says Ari with a sad look. She looks at you, eyes lighting up with wonder. "Do you mind pushing the swing for me?"

You nod, thinking it is not a big deal. You stand up, go to the back of the swing, and gently push Ari.

You now see and hear Ari laughing gently with a smile on her face. She laughs again as the swing gently moves forward and backward.

Then, you hear a familiar laughter inside your head. You look up at the sky. It is blue. Amazed, you look at the earth. It is filled with green trees and grass. A beautiful scene of children laughing and running within the playground is painted with colorful play structures and rides. You smile again as you see your longtime friend, bright and young, smiling at you and sitting on a swing.

"Hey, what are you doing? Push!"

You, still gazing at your beloved friend, push the swing gently. The laugh of your old friend and the laugh of Ari mixes in your head.

"Push the swing for me, father." You hear Ari's voice in the distance.

Your mind flashes back to the past where there are fresh flowers and beautiful trees rustling beautifully against the warm wind. Your beloved people who died in the devastation are now back in your sight.

And so is Ari."

Composed, Mixed and Story by Jessie Yun
Story edited by rsonbie456
Created with GarageBand (iPhone Version)

Cover artist : BelleDeesse
Link : http://www.wallpaperup.com/98283/Tomb_Raider_2013_Archers_Warriors_Rain_Games_Girls_rain.html

I made this just for fun, but if you have any comments/review/advice for this song, I'd love to hear it!

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* This is an official 2017 NGUAC review *

I'm such a sucker for orchestral fusion. Which is probably this one earned a coveted FINN M-K FAVOURITE <3 badge! On to specifics...

Mixing, mastering and production: My main criticism here is that some of the instruments sound a little robotic and too obviously virtual. This was evident mostly in the orchestral instruments, and especially in the piano. The "easy" way to get better sounds from all of those instruments are to record them live. If that's not an option, you can always buy more expensive vsts. If that's not an option, then we must rely on mixing skill. Very careful use EQs and reverb plugins are your friend here, as well as editing the velocity of the notes that are being played.
When a pianist is playing a piece, she's not hitting the keys with the same amount of force on every note. She sweeps, there are highs and lows, and even in sections that are all designated one dynamic level, she'll have slight variations in her dynamics - because she's not a robot. Also thanks to her human nature, she will make slight timing errors. Nearly no pianist plays every single note perfectly in time. So if you want to get real-sounding instruments, make sure they sound good with EQ and reverb. Then, make sure they sound human with velocity and timing editing. Give them slight errors in timing, slight volume changes in which notes they make loud and soft.

Otherwise...pretty solid. The percussion sounds great. I could have maybe used a touch more bass umph from the kick.

Composition: My only real note here is that despite the pleasant surprise of the dance-y percussion coming in, things were generally...pretty predictable/kinda cliched. Besides the percussion, there was never an element that stood out as being very original or getting away from the tropes of modern symphonic electronic music. We've got the lone piano at the start, the swirling strings throughout the whole piece, horns blaring loud notes, and a key change 2/3 of the way through. There was never a use of an instrument that surprised me, you know? Every time an instrument was used, the played what they are stereotypically good at, instead of striking into bold new territory.
My only real recommendation here is to be ambitious. Be bold, be brave, forge into new musical realms and above all push yourself. You have the skills to create something great, so get out your comfort zone and try something brand new.

Keep on keeping on!

JessieYun responds:

Hi FinnMK,

Thanks so much for such detailed review! It means a lot to me, and it also gives me good motivation to push onto. Thank you very much for this. NGUAC has given me great hope, joy and also a lesson of music creating. I'll keep the great advices in mind, and move on forward.

Thank you so much again,

I like the emotion at the beginning. The pacing is pretty slow, but it also compliments the theme. That said, :28 had a rather sudden injection of energy and a much brighter mood. The sweep at :54 was a little cheesy, although I did enjoy the melodies at :58. The drums at 1:11 could sound a bit clearer and crisper. I think they need some more compression. It might also help to experiment more with panning. The orchestration here is really good, though. I love the brass solos at 1:39. This piece comes together really nicely - great job with the progression and melodic content. The mixing needs a little tweaking, but overall this piece is really strong. Keep up the great work, Jessieyun0404! ;)


JessieYun responds:

Hello TaintedLogic,

Thank you so much for such detailed and great review. It means a lot to me. Thank you so much for the advice, and also encouragement. I'll keep your comments in mind and will improve myself to create a better song that can interact with the world.

Thank you,

5/5 Stars !

JessieYun responds:

Hi Chuck-Ripper,

Thanks for the review! Glad you loved this track :)

Nice job! The music directly matches perfectly to the story and the joy of... XD I guess there's no need to say litterally the same thing fir the third time both as a review to this song and on my personal count. So I'm just gonna enjoy this song without writing a proper review. Thank you for adding a link to the cover artist btw!

JessieYun responds:

Hi Alex,

Thank you so much for the review! Glad you enjoyed this one too!
Okay haha ;) hope you enjoy the future episodes!

And no problem.

AMAZING! The music directly matches with the story. The contrast of bright and dark is amazing. Glad to be able to help :D!

JessieYun responds:

Hi rsonbie456,

Thank you so much for the comment! Glad you enjoyed it.
Thanks again!

Credits & Info


4.80 / 5.00

Jul 12, 2017
8:15 AM EDT
File Info
7.7 MB
3 min 13 sec

Licensing Terms

Please contact me if you would like to use this in a project. We can discuss the details.