I saw your post on Newgrounds - http://www.newgrounds.com/bbs/topic/1424663
You are doing great with your music, but there are some things you could improve on!
1. Mastering and Mixing, It helps you remove the annoying sounds and really helps boost your music skills
2. Originality, This really sounds like a normal basic Video Game track, try to make something that will shock your viewers
These things will help you improve!