The instruments are a little cheesy, but I like the cute mood and sense of climax into :22 or so. The piece is really short - not really structurally complete. You have a good sense of harmony. The transition at :48 was a little sudden, and the mix also sounds somewhat strained at that point. I think the main problem here is that the composition and arrangement are pretty underwhelming. You need to do more to give this piece some shape and variety. Fleshing out the structure with more emotional heights and valleys is a good place to start. When you feel like you’ve done this, PM me and I’ll send you another review. Keep at it, Spikrin. :)
Thank you! I made a new song, called nebula, and i think its my best in my opinion! i recommend you check it out! and am i allowed t change the song i use for the contest? if so change it to that song please.
Since it's short, I should be able to tell in a bit of detail what's good and what isn't as much.
Your mixing has improved since I last heard from you. With the exception of one particular section (0:51 etc.), everything seems to have its proper place in the mix.
I'm not sure what to make of the string-like pad in the background. It sounds...... I have no idea, like something that belonged in some cheesy song, which is probably not what you were going for here. There is always an appeal for picked clean electric guitar in things like this, but that's just what I imagine here -- you could perhaps imagine something else that sounds as awesome in there.
0:51 is a bit of an oddity. What are you going for here? 4/4? 12/8? You've got what seem to be drum loops that do a sort of 12/8 beat on a 4/4 song. On the one hand, you have straight 4/4 and on the other hand, you have a 12/8 beat. Now, done well, it could provide for interesting rhythmic patterns. Done not so well, as in this case, you're left wondering 'what on earth happened here?'. On my second listen, I noticed that other things were clashing too -- basslines against melody, for example.
1:06 keeps things simple and brings it all down, of course. Your resolution of this piece is good.
The main troubles with this piece are that:
1) it is very short -- which wouldn't really be a trouble in and of itself but it is compounded by the second below, i.e.
2) it is too repetitive.
We listen to things and they're varied a fair bit; good songs tend to vary in texture, in loudness, or even in thematic material. If a song is too short, or too long for the average, it needs to have enough to make it interesting.
You've nailed the loud-soft of this piece, but not so much the texture, and most certainly not the thematic material. I was left feeling a bit let down at the end when 1:06 came in and the first question that came to mind was, "what, that's it?" I feel as though you were going for the car advert vibe, almost, and some of them do it really well. But this one feels underwhelming to me.
My recommendations: study your favourite pieces. Try to write down, describe in your own words, what makes a piece awesome. And train yourself not to say "oh because it's awesome and I have no words." Yes, I understand some songs can leave us breathless. But once that feeling passes -- we are able to try and imagine what led us to feeling that way. Was it the instrumentation? Was it the tempo changes? Was it the themes, or the soft and loud? Was it something else, like key changes or otherwise technical stuff that most songs wouldn't do? Or was it because the song was simple, but effective -- and if so, how?
Hopefully, doing this, you may be able to focus your learning, and find the areas you would like to start improving on first.
thanks for the constructive critism! Im still working on my music, and getting better, i recently got inspired by renosance, by home. i want to make a song maybe similar to that song in some way.
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