I think the vocals at the start have a little too much echo/reverb (whatever that metallic after-effect is) so there's a bit too much going on to hear them clearly. It's a little overwhelming with all the layers during the first 35 seconds or so.
Besides that... Seems fairly... Standard at the moment? Dunno what you have planned for the full version but it's a little on the plain side. The kicks could be mixed up a bit instead of being a near constant 4/4 pulse for the two 30 second main melodic sections.