I liked the mood and energy of this piece. I'll say I thought the drums were a bit quiet throughout, especially for such an intense metal track. It's a very fast-paced piece, and there's not a lot of structural relief to keep the listener grounded in that regard. It might help the mixing and mastering if you tried to equalize some of the frequencies here a bit more as well as compressing the drums. I can hear distinct repeated sections, but they're connected in such an overwhelming stream of continuous music that I feel like it's hard to get attached to the emotion/drama of this piece. It ends a little suddenly, too. I think you need some harmonies here (lead guitar, piano, maybe even organ) that'll help you channel the energy here a bit more and create some more dynamic contrast and melodic development. I can tell that you've put a lot of passion and feeling into making this piece, but that passion isn't necessarily communicated to the listener unless you have the structural contrast necessary to do so. For example, if your piece sounds uniformly intense and dramatic (as this one does), it kind of trivializes the intensity IMO. There are a lot of cool ideas here, but this piece would've been more meaningful for me if you had thought more about pacing, phrasing, and dynamic contrast. Generally (but not always), it's a good idea to try to follow a verse-chorus based structure, with 1-2 bridges/breakdowns to add structural relief from the "emotional/dramatic heights" of the piece. If you can add these structural considerations here, this would be a really solid track! Until then, keep at it TSRBand. ;)
Awesome review, thanks for taking the time to offer these tips! I'll work on putting them into practice. I found your advice on structural contrast very useful, having the whole track be 'fast' gives the listener a chance to get used to it and as you said, makes it harder to get attached to the drama.