Never once have I ever seen anything like it, as I opened the door to the McDonalds fast food restaurant... There it was... A monster so massive it gave birth to the fear that was american obesity, a vile creature comparable to that of the most disgusting bottom-feeders, the most disgusting insects... It was a girl consumed by the McDonalds diet, locked away within the depths of the monstrosity that had claimed her soul, the girth of which expanded so large she needed help fitting through the door... To this day, we call her... Doreen McDonald...