First off you should put this under TECHNO, not trance. Even placing this under Dance would have been more accurate. Here's a few reasons and tips for you....

1. there's no hypnotic sounding synth melodies, just randomized arp or 303 sounds.. maybe this should have been under Goa..
2. The beginning sounds like you took a chunk from one of Tiesto's songs... maybe Armin Van Buuren's... at any rate.. it was still detectable.
3. It almost sounded like you had a break beat song at certain points... Trance beats are typically "4 to the floor" style...

1. Listen to a few popular trance songs and study the sounds and layout.
2. Clean up the beat and make it more noticeable.. even listening through my production speakers it sounded like i was playing them through tin cans...
3. Make a "Main" synth line and build the song off that... if you take my advice in #1, you will see that most do this... not all, but most... the ones that don't build off the beat and bass line...

Here is a list of some true trance artists:
Tiesto
Armin Van Buuren
Swedish House Mafia (most songs)
ATB (older stuff)
Above & Beyond
Blank & Jones

Sorry I couldn't give a better rating, but I Hope this helps...